


something like fate (we'll find love again)

by hitmyheart



Series: no one belongs here more than you [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Arranged Marriage, Domestic, Doyu, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Getting Back Together, M/M, Mpreg, Mutual Pining, Smut, johnten
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-08
Updated: 2019-11-20
Packaged: 2020-10-12 11:57:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 39,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20563946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hitmyheart/pseuds/hitmyheart
Summary: Jung Jaehyun knows that as the heir of Jung Group, he's eventually going to have to be wed. But when his supposed to be bride ran away, he has to marry her brother instead. He just didn't expect that his soon-to-be partner will be Lee Taeyong, his ex-boyfriend who obviously couldn't stand him.





	1. the unexpected turn of events

**Author's Note:**

> hello, this is my first jaeyong chaptered fic! i hope you guys will enjoy this!^^

* * *

“Jung Jaehyun, you little shit!”

Jaehyun didn't even lift his head from the paperwork he's been reading for minutes when the door of his office room was swung open with a loud bang, revealing a tall, slender, gorgeous woman who looked so much like him.

Jung Soojung, his sister, barged inside unannouncedly followed with frightened Yerim—Jaehyun’s secretary. She looked like she wanted to stop Soojung but didn't have enough courage to do so because the latter looked extremely pissed. She knew it would only add more trouble if she did the wrong move.

“Well, hello to you too, sister. How's your trip in Italy?” Jaehyun casually asked as he finally lifted his head to look at his fuming sister.

Soojung slammed her Dolce & Gabbana purse down the table and the paperwork and pens that were scattered around rattling as the impact of it.

“You imbecile,” she spat, pointing her perfectly manicured nails at him. “Mother called me because she thinks that you're going to run away from the family dinner with the Lee. She will skin us alive if we didn't come there. What the hell do you think you're doing right now?”

Jaehyun let out a sigh. He turned to Yerim who looked like she'd rather be somewhere else than in this room, listening to Jung siblings bickering with each other.

“You can go, Yerim,” Jaehyun said, sparing her. She looked obviously relieved to hear that before bowing her head down and sliding out of the room.

When she was finally gone, Jaehyun turned to his sister again.

“I wasn't planning to bail,” he nonchalantly said. “I just had to finish this paperwork first before going to the family dinner.”

Soojung snorted. “Miss me with the bull, little brother.”

She plopped down on the chair and crossed her legs, leaning backward in an elegant manner.

“Mother is just overreacting,” Jaehyun sighed as he took off his glasses, rubbing his tired eyes with the back of his hand. “You know I won't run away from my duty.”

For someone whose life had been planned even before he was born, Jaehyun dared to say that he was composed enough to face his fate. It wasn't like he had much of a choice anyway. When he turned sixteen, his parents told him that he was going to marry the daughter from Lee family to merge the family business as well as to keep the connection between the Jung and the Lee that have been established for years.

Jaehyun knew Lee Joohyun. He had met her a few times before but they've never really talked except exchanging polite greetings and awkward conversations. As the heir of Jung Group, Jaehyun had given up the idea of making his own love story because he knew it won't happen. At least he wasn't going to spend his life with a random stranger. Joohyun was a very nice and polite girl and she was a few years older than him. Jaehyun couldn't imagine a life with her but he could tolerate her and make some compromises once they were married.

“I can't believe that you're getting married soon,” Soojung said after a moment of silence, her voice and face softened. There was a hint of sadness in her eyes but Jaehyun chose to ignore it.

They didn't always show their affection to each other and most of the time, when they were together, they would bicker and argue. But that didn't mean that they didn't care for each other. They knew each other like the back of their hands and though Soojung never said it out loud, Jaehyun knew that his sister felt bad for him for not having the same chances as her. She got to travel around the world and did whatever she wanted meanwhile Jaehyun had already carried a lot of responsibilities on his shoulders at such a young age.

Jaehyun hated it when his sister felt like it was her fault for not being born as the boy in the family. It wasn't her fault and Jaehyun was actually glad that their parents didn’t pressure his sister the way they did to him. He would feel a lot more worse if it was her that had to carry the duty because then she won't be able to spread her wings and be the woman that she was today.

Yes, he was saddled with responsibilities that tied him down but he loved what he did. He loved his job and for him, that was enough.

“Don't go soft on me, you witch,” Jaehyun retorted, trying to lift the mood up. A playful smile tugged at the corner of his lips. “Remember that you have to stay here for the next two weeks because you have to help mother preparing for my wedding.”

Soojung jutted out her lips. “I still don't understand why mother and aunty Lee didn’t hire a wedding organizer because it would be so much easier for all of us.”

“Because both of them are perfectionists and only want the best for their children?”

“Shut up, Jaehyun. You still have to go to the family dinner to discuss the final preparation for the wedding.”

Jaehyun rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, whatever.”

Soojung let out a dramatic sigh but her eyes were twinkling with mirth. “Poor Joohyunie have to deal with your lame ass for the rest of her life.”

“Excuse me, you witch. I'm a very decent man and whoever is going to marry me should be grateful.”

Soojung faked a disgusted look at Jaehyun but in the end, they laughed together. Jaehyun felt a little bit lighter now that his sister was here. At least he didn't have to go through this night alone. He knew he did agree to the arranged marriage willingly but thinking about it still gave him a bittersweet feeling.

Pushing those thoughts away at the very back of his head, Jaehyun stood up from his seat and put up his usual façade smile. Time to face reality.

* * *

It was surprising for Jaehyun to know that Joohyun was late to the family dinner. And it surprised him more when his mother and Joohyun’s mother carried on with the family dinner without the presence of the bride. Jaehyun exchanged confused glances with Soojung. They didn't know what was going on at the moment.

“Mother,” Soojung called after contemplating for a moment. Her mother turned to her with a warm smile.

“Yes, my dear?”

“I'm sorry for interrupting your discussion but aren't we supposed to wait for Joohyunie?”

Jung Sooyeon and Lee Yoora shared a look, communicating through their eyes, and the silence that followed was tensed and uncomfortable. Jaehyun knew that something wasn't right. His guts told him that something was about to happen and it wasn't good. He could sense it since the moment he arrived at the restaurant and couldn't find Joohyun there.

He had a hunch but he was too anxious and confused to say it out loud.

“About that,” Yoora finally spoke and Jaehyun turned to her immediately, his heart started to pound a little bit faster against his ribcage. “Joohyunie is not going to come today.”

“Can I know why, aunty?” Jaehyun asked in a surprisingly calm tone.

“She's gone,” she replied in a very steady voice and her face was neutral as if it was nothing. As if she didn't just drop the bomb.

Jaehyun could hear the blood rushing through his veins and his heartbeat pounding in his ears. His mind slowly turned hazy. Meanwhile Soojung almost choked on her steak when she heard that.

“What?” she gasped, staring at Yoora with parted lips. Shocked evident on her face. “She's gone? What's that supposed to mean? Is she going to an overseas trip—”

“No, my dear,” it was her mother who gently stopped her. Letting out a sigh, she continued, “Joohyunie is not going to marry our Jaehyunie.”

Jaehyun exhaled slowly through his nose and willed himself to stay composed. His guts were right. Joohyun ran away from the wedding. She was gone. She wasn’t going to marry him.

Jaehyun could feel a headache coming. He didn't know how to feel about the situation. He felt numb and his head was slowly spinning. He did not expect this at all.

“Mother, how are you so calm about this?” Soojung frantically wailed, her eyes were wild as she looked back and forth at Sooyeon and Yoora. “The wedding is in two weeks! It's all over the news already. Our reputation is at stake. What will people say when they know that the wedding is canceled and—”

“Who said the wedding is canceled?” Yoora cut her off.

Jaehyun and Soojung stared at her, dumbfounded.

“The wedding will still be held.”

“_What_?”

“I don't understand,” Jaehyun said, his face was blank as he looked at his mother. “I’m still getting married?”

“Yeah, me neither,” Soojung added. “Joohyunie is gone. Who's Jaehyunie supposed to be married with then?”

“The invitation hasn't sent out yet. People know that Jaehyun will marry the Lee's heir but they don't know which one.”

Now that was something Jaehyun and Soojung did not expected to hear. They looked baffled and completely lost. What Sooyeon and Yoora said was confusing and the discussion started to not make sense at all.

“What do you mean which one, mother? The Lee only has one heir.”

“Well, you haven't met my son yet. Joohyunie's brother.”

Jaehyun was convinced that what he just heard must be some kind of a sick joke. He opened his mouth as if to say something but closed it again because nothing came out. This was getting more and more ridiculous. What now? Joohyun had a brother? A secret brother that people didn't know about? Jaehyun had known Lee family ever since he was a baby and never once he saw the said brother. No one ever mentioned him.

“Mother, aunty,” Soojung said, sounding so tired now. “This isn't the right time to joke.”

“We’re not joking, Soojungie,” Sooyeon gently explained. “You’ve heard Yoora. She has a son and he's on his way here to meet us all. He agreed to take Joohyun's position and Jaehyunie’s groom.”

Jaehyun was speechless and too perplexed that he couldn't say anything about it. Soojung who still wasn't convinced about the new agreement leaned forward, her eyebrows furrowed and her lips pressed into a taut line. She had the kind of face that showed up when she wasn’t pleased with something.

“Okay, let's just say that Joohyunie has a brother and the said brother is going to take her position and save us all from the public embarrassment,” she said, tapping her nails on the table impatiently. “But the whole deal about this arranged marriage is to establish the family business for the next generation and to do that, Jaehyunie needs an heir. How is he going to produce an heir if he gets married to a man?”

Yoora let out a sigh and by the look on her face, she was about to tell some good old fairy tales. Jaehyun straightened his back, bracing himself for another blow. It was getting hard to hold himself together because everything that happened just didn’t make sense at all. 

“My youngest was born special. He can get pregnant. You guys know about male pregnancy, right? He's also shy and doesn't like public attention. That's why he never shows up to the public or any family gathering. He lives at his own house so it's understandable why you two never met him. Actually, people know the Lee has two heirs but their never see my son’s face. It’s not like we try to hide him as if he’s some kind of a dirty secret. But it’s what my son wants and we respect it.”

That was a lot to take in and now Jaehyun felt like he was about to lose his mind. It was shocking for him, and he could tell that Soojung felt the same as well. Sooyeon seemed calm and collected as usual and that meant their mother knew about it. Unlike him and his sister who couldn't digest the information right away. How in the world they could know the secret brother? They were too busy with their life to keep up with gossip or rumor.

Jaehyun closed his eyes and rubbed his temple, his head pounding hard against his skull. All his life he'd prepared himself to marry a girl he didn't like for the sake of his family. But then his supposed to be bride ran away and now he was going to marry a complete stranger. Someone he’d never met and to think that his life couldn't possibly get any worse. What a joke.

Jaehyun couldn't think he could go on for another hour to discuss the wedding but he also just couldn't get out of this situation without meeting his new groom. He didn't have enough energy left and all he wanted to do right now was going home and slept his trouble away. 

“Okay,” Jaehyun finally said after a long moment of silence. He pinched the bridge of his nose impatiently, trying to maintain his composure. “So now I have a groom. Where is he and what's his name?”

Before Yoora could answer him, they heard steady footsteps approaching. Because the whole table was in silence, the sound of it was loud enough for them to hear. Everyone turned their heads to see a man walking to the table.

Yoora smiled as she waved her hand at the man, not aware of the shocked expression on Soojung's face or the way Jaehyun's face was ashen as if someone just punched him in the gut.

“Taeyongie, come here!”

Jaehyun and the said man, the one that would be his husband in two weeks, the one he knew so damn well, Lee Taeyong, locked eyes for an intense five seconds before the latter looked away. Jaehyun could feel dread slowly setting in the pit of his stomach.

_Oh, fuck. _

* * *


	2. five years later

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i did not expect the reaction to this fic would be good >< thank you so much for reading this and i hope you guys enjoy the update <3

* * *

Everything about his body language warned Jaehyun to stay away; his lips drawn into a scowl, his arms crossed over his chest, and his gaze fixated on some distant point. Jaehyun didn't doubt that Taeyong was thinking some ways to get out of this marriage. Not that he could anyway. They were perfectly aware that there was no way out of this.

Now both of them were stuck here, just the two of them. Their parents and Soojung left early after they discussed some adjustments for the wedding. They had to change the flowers, the theme color for the wedding—it was supposed to be baby blue but Taeyong had shyly asked his mother whether they could change it into white and Jaehyun fully supported it. He tried to be supportive, though he knew Taeyong didn't appreciate it because the latter kept glaring at him whenever he tried to confide in. They also had to custom-made new suit for Taeyong because he obviously won't wear the wedding dress. The ring wasn't up for discussion because Jaehyun was quick to say that he would take care of it. Taeyong did not even spare him a glance when he said that.

They were sitting across each other. The food was long forgotten. None of them could bring themselves to eat. The air between them was filled with heavy tension. Jaehyun stared at the man in front of him. The man he hadn't seen in years. The man he hadn't expected to see again. Now Taeyong was here, within his reach, but at the same time, he felt so distant and far away. Jaehyun didn't dare to reach him for he knew that it would scare him away. And because he knew that he wasn’t allowed to.

At first glance, it seemed like Taeyong had changed a lot over the years. But now that Jaehyun had closely looked at him, the latter still looked the same as he remembered. Taeyong still looked beautiful—he always looked beautiful in his eyes. His eyes big and round, his eyelashes long, his nose and jaw sharp, his lips pink, and his cheekbones high. His hair was dark brown and it looked so smooth and fluffy. His skin fairer and it amazed Jaehyun how Taeyong still managed to look like a baby even after five years. His figure was still small and slender and he looked like he hadn't aged.

Jaehyun thought about the situation and almost laughed at himself in agony. How ironic. After the messy break-up they had five years ago, after spending years trying to heal and forget, fate slapped him in the face when he least expected it and trapped him here with nowhere to escape.

“Can you stop looking at me?”

Taeyong's voice pulled Jaehyun out of his reverie. He blinked and found Taeyong was scowling at him so hard his eyebrows almost connected.

Jaehyun let out a sigh. It was expected and understandable, really. Of course Taeyong hated him with all his being. After what happened five years ago, Jaehyun was surprised Taeyong still wanted to see his face.

“So, you're the other Lee,” Jaehyun opened the conversation after a long moment of tensed silence. “I didn't know that you're Joohyun's sister. And that you can get pregnant on top of that.”

Jaehyun didn't mean to sound bitter but he just couldn't help it. He felt slightly betrayed. He and Taeyong were together for four years and he didn't know any of that. Though they weren't together anymore and he had no rights to feel that way, it still hurt to think that Taeyong had kept such important things from him.

“I have my reasons,” was all Taeyong said. He refused to meet his eyes but the way his lips pressed into a tight line told him that he didn't want to talk about it. Jaehyun ignored the way his heart ached at the cold treatment.

“Okay, then,” Jaehyun relented because he didn't want to upset Taeyong more. “Can I ask about your well-being?”

“No,” Taeyong replied, harsh and cold. “You don't have rights to do that.”

It stung but Jaehyun had anticipated such reaction so he cracked a small smile—one that didn’t reach his eyes.

“All right. Can we at least be civil? We're going to be husbands.”

“I know my role here,” Taeyong said, his eyes burning as he looked at Jaehyun. “I will play the role of a perfect husband and don't worry I won't embarrass you or tarnish your reputation.”

“You know I'm not worried about that,” Jaehyun replied, his voice soft and gentle, and it caught Taeyong off guard because he recognized the sincerity in his words. “I’m worried about you. Aunty told me that you hate exposure. There will be a lot of people from the medias and you might get overwhelmed. Should we make the wedding private? We still have time.”

Taeyong’s throat closed as he tried not to shake and tremble. He knew Jaehyun for years and he knew when the latter was being honest and sincere. But it still didn't prepare him for the raw emotions coming from the man before him. His gut knotted and a sense of dread had his heart racing.

It wasn't fair, really. Jaehyun still hadn't changed much, was all Taeyong could think about, including his appearance. His dark hair was as short and black as the last time he last saw it, his face was still clean from facial hair, but his cheekbones were more prominent now. His jaw was still sharp and his shoulders were so much broader and his arms more macular.

Taeyong absolutely hated how his heart twinged at the sight of him. A dull, radiating pain that came from the centre of his chest.

“My feeling doesn't matter,” he said after a moment of loaded silence, forcing himself to swallow the lump down his throat. “It's time for me to go public and as the time goes by, I'll eventually learn how to deal with the media. Stop acting like you care. I'm only here to replace my sister.”

Jaehyun frowned, his lips pressed into a thin line. Taeyong knew from experience that that kind of look meant the latter was clearly displeased over something.

“You're wrong. Your feelings matter, Taeyong,” he said firmly, leaving no place for an argument. “I do care about you. Yes, you're here because you have to take Joohyun's place but I'm not going to treat you as if you're someone else. You know I won't do that, Taeyong.”

Taeyong ignored the way his heart lurched and willed himself to stay composed. The way his name rolled off his tongue was still the same as before and he hated how Jaehyun always knew the right words to say. He hated it even more the fact that the man still had some effect on him even after all these years.

But Taeyong knew his place. He was here because of a deal. He knew where to draw the line. He won't let himself fall for the second time—not when he knew that it would only lead to another heartbreak.

“Whatever,” Taeyong said, his demeanor was back to cold. “It's over between us and we will only be husbands in the paper. I hope you don't forget that. Anyway, I'm done here. I know that my mother told you to drive me home but I don’t want that. Let me go alone.”

Jaehyun knew better than to pressure Taeyong so he silently nodded. He watched as the latter hastily got up from his seat and left, disappearing from his vision. He stayed there for a very long moment, wondering how all of this could happen. He still couldn't believe that fate had brought them back together.

Jaehyun had never thought about the possibility of him and Taeyong got back together, mainly because he’d accepted the fact that his life had been planned from a very long time ago. The moment he let go of Taeyong was the moment he’d given up on his own happy ending. He’d closed his heart and he knew that no one could open it again—no one but Taeyong himself.

Jaehyun was never one to believe in fate or destiny but after what happened, there was no other explanation that would make sense than that. Taeyong said that it was over between them but for Jaehyun, it was like a sign. A second chance. An opportunity to fix things.

Every moment in their lives had brought them to this particular moment. It was as if they were all heading for each other on a collision course because some people were just meant to be in the same story, no matter how long it took. When the time came, the universe would stop and wait for them.

This time, Jaehyun was determined to do it right. He would make sure that he won't make the same mistake.

* * *

“You're going to _what_?”

Taeyong tried not to wince as he heard Doyoung's loud shriek, drawing other customer’s attention at the café they were at. The latter almost dropped the doughnut he was holding meanwhile Ten had choked on his drink and spilled it on his lap.

Taeyong let out a sigh. He hadn't dropped the real bomb yet and their reaction was already like that.

“I said I'm getting married in two weeks.”

“Yes, I heard that the first time, young man,” Ten said as he dabbed his mouth with a napkin, shocked and confusion was written all over his face. “Question is, how? Because the last time we checked, you’re still single. Aren't your sister is the one who's getting married?”

Doyoung and Ten were Taeyong's friends since high school so they knew about his family background. They've met Joohyun several times and they also knew that Taeyong hid his real identity to lead a normal and simple life.

“Well, she ran away,” he replied with a shrug as if it was nothing.

Doyoung and Ten’s jaws dropped, blinking rapidly at their friends.

“You’re joking.”

“Do I look like I’m joking right now, Tennie?”

Ten gasped. “You’re not joking.”

“You’re getting married?”

“That’s what I said.”

“And you're going to take your sister’s place.” Doyoung concluded and Taeyong didn’t surprised that his friend could easily put two and two together. He’d always been smart.

Taeyong nodded his head as confirmation. “Yes, that’s right.”

Ten let out a dramatic groan.

“What kind of K-drama is this? I can't believe this happens in real life. But now, the real question is, who's going to be the groom?”

Taeyong looked at his friends, bracing himself for their reaction.

“Jung Jaehyun.”

There was dead silence after.

Doyoung and Ten froze on their spots, unmoving. They stared at Taeyong, their jaws dropping and their eyes were blown wide. The silence went on and it stretched for too long, making Taeyong started to squirm on his seat.

Doyoung was the first one to gain his senses back. He blinked at Taeyong, seemingly in a daze.

“Jung Jaehyun,” he drawled slowly. “Your ex-boyfriend, the one and only, Jung Jaehyun?”

“_Yes_.”

“The one whom you're still very much in love with even after 5 years. _That_ Jung Jaehyun?” Ten added.

Taeyong glared at him. “Yes. _That_ Jaehyun. And no, I'm not in love with him. I'm over him.”

His friends purposely ignored his remark as if he hadn't said anything.

The audacity.

“I can't believe this,” Doyoung shook his head, bewildered. “You guys broke up five years ago and now you're getting married to him? What kind of twisted fate is this?”

Taeyong looked away. He couldn’t bring himself to answer that. His friends knew Jaehyun because they used to be mutual when they were in college. But when two people in the same group friend broke up, it was inevitable that their mutual would choose one person over the other. They used to be a big group of friends. It consisted of Taeyong, Jaehyun, Doyoung, Ten, Johnny, and Yuta. The six of them were always together though they were from different departments.

When Taeyong and Jaehyun broke up, it was obvious that Doyoung and Ten took Taeyong's side because they have been friends since high school. Meanwhile the rest was with Jaehyun. Though Johnny was actually neutral because he was Ten's boyfriend. He still met Taeyong and Doyoung from time to time but it wasn’t the same anymore.

Their friendship was okay but they never had a big gathering like before. And now they almost never met because of their busy life. The others were very considerate and supportive. They understood that sometimes relationship didn't work out and agreed not to let the break-up got in the way with their friendship.

Taeyong never really told his friends the entire story of his break-up with Jaehyun. He only told Ten and Doyoung that the it was mutual. That it just didn't work—though it took months for them to believe him. He didn't tell them how Jaehyun had been so distant and cold to him before the break-up. That he was suddenly tired of Taeyong for no reason. There were a lot of arguments and bad memories that he didn’t want to remember.

Taeyong couldn’t bring himself to tell them that because it pain him to just think about it. He didn't know what Jaehyun said to Yuta and Johnny but frankly, he didn’t care. He was just grateful that they never mentioned Jaehyun whenever they met.

“So, you're going to spend the rest of your life with Jaehyun.”

Taeyong rolled his eyes.

“Yes, Doyo. Isn't that obvious now?”

Ten narrowed his eyes, looking at him suspiciously. “You guys don't secretly make a marriage contract like what people do on dramas, don't you?”

“What? Of course no!” Taeyong huffed. “My mother will skin me alive if she knows that.”

“Good,” Ten nodded as he casually sipped his milk tea. “Now you and Jaehyun can rekindle the old flame. This is unexpected but unexpectedly good.”

Doyoung nodded his head in agreement.

“Tennie's right. A lot of people were heartbroken when you and Jaehyun broke up, especially us. I know that Tennie and I used to mock you two for being disgustingly cute and sweet but we were rooting on you. And now the sweetheart couple is back together!”

Taeyong looked at his friends incredulously, his jaw dropping. Disbelief was written all over his face. He clearly didn’t expect such reaction. Now he felt betrayed.

“What the hell are you two talking about? You missed the whole point here!” he wailed, desperately trying to make his friends understand. “Didn't you hear what I said? He's supposed to marry my sister! I'm only here because she ran away!”

“Which is a good thing,” Doyoung retorted with a shrug. “You still love him and we know damn well that he still loves you.”

“I don't love him,” he said through gritted teeth, his nostril flared up as anger slowly bubbling up inside him. “And he obviously doesn't love me either. Stop talking nonsense!”

“Then can you explain why you two are still single these past five years?”

“That doesn't prove your point and we are here because of the deal between our family. End of the story.”

“But—”

“Don't you forget that he's the one who broke up with me, okay? He ended thing between us and this arranged marriage won’t change anything.”

Doyoung and Ten looked at each other and sighed. Taeyong could be stubborn if he wanted to and there was no point of arguing when the latter was in a high mode of defense. It was better to let things slide for now or this would lead into a long argument.

“Fine, whatever helps you sleep at night, Taeyongie.”

“What a stubborn kitty.”

Taeyong ignored his friend’s remark. He ignored the way his heart skipped a beat when he thought the possibility of Jaehyun still had feelings for him. But he pushed the thoughts away as fast as it came to his mind.

_No_, he reminded himself. It was just a deal and that was final. It was nothing for Jaehyun and Taeyong was obviously over him. This wouldn’t change anything.

If he could taste lies on his tongue, nobody needed to know that except him.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/_hitmyheart)   
[Curious Cat](https://curiouscat.me/_hitmyheart)


	3. tell my heart to lie

* * *

The news of the union between the Lee and the Jung broke out the next day and it blew up into an explosion. It became the headline in many tabloids. The public was surprised to learn that it wasn’t Joohyun who would be the bride. But they were also ecstatic to finally see the Lee Taeyong—the youngest Lee who’d never seen in public.

It was the hardest thing Taeyong had ever experienced in his life. Getting out of the house became a hard task to do because people started to recognize him and it was even harder to go to work after that. His co-workers couldn't believe that he was the Lee and some gushed over the fact that he was getting married to Jung Jaehyun—one of the most successful and most wanted bachelor in the country. He was overwhelmed with the sudden spotlight he got but thankfully Ten and Doyoung didn’t leave his side. His friends took a turn to pick him up from work and he couldn’t express just how thankful he was to have them by his side. Thankfully, after a while, the news died down and though it was never the same again, Taeyong was finally got a hang of it and he’d had learned how to deal with it.

Two weeks passed in a blink of an eye and tomorrow was the day. Taeyong had successfully distracted his mind from the wedding and it helped that he wasn't involved in the preparation. Sooyeon, Yoora, and Soojung had taken care of everything. But he still had to come to the final rehearsal.

He just finished teaching his last class and on his way to the teacher room when someone tapped his shoulders from behind. He halted his steps and let out a sigh. He knew who it might be. Some of his students were very cheeky and playful, especially the trio from his literature class; Yangyang, Hendery, and Yukhei. He knew that the three of them adored him but they liked to surprise him by suddenly appeared out of nowhere.

“Kids, I swear to God I will—” Taeyong's words died down as soon as he spun around and found Jung Jaehyun standing right in front of him.

He blinked at him, completely perplexed. He thought that his eyes might play tricks on him because no way Jaehyun was here, looking so out of place in his expensive business attire.

“Hi, Taeyong.”

Taeyong let out a yelp as he took a step back, glaring at Jaehyun who had the audacity to smile at him.

“What the hell are you doing here?” he whisper-shouted, trying to tone down his voice because his students might hear. As a teacher, he had to set good examples for others and that meant he couldn't spit profanities in public.

“I came to pick you up,” he casually said as if what he did was totally normal. “We’re going to the rehearsal together.”

Taeyong bit his tongue to keep from saying something he shouldn't, even as his temper burned bright. He wanted to snap at him but he kept remaining himself that he was still around the school. Some students who passed by them slowed down their steps, throwing curious looks at Jaehyun and Taeyong—some girls who recognized Jaehyun squealed in delight when they saw him. Taeyong and Jaehyun attracted attention because they were literally standing in the hallway where people could see.

Grinding his teeth together, Taeyong said, “Wait for me outside the gate. I'll be there in ten minutes.”

“Are you sure? I can wait here—”

“_Jaehyun_.”

“Okay, okay. I'll wait in the car.”

* * *

Taeyong still couldn't believe that Jaehyun had enough guts to show up at his workplace. He didn't even want to know where the latter knew about it. Still pissed and annoyed at his sudden appearance, Taeyong refused to talk to him. Jaehyun had asked him some questions but he stubbornly stayed silent.

“So, you are a teacher now.”

Taeyong let out a huff but didn't answer him verbally.

“Being a teacher suits you,” Jaehyun tried again. “You used to tell me that you wanted to teach because it's your passion. And you've always been good with kids.”

Taeyong ignored the way something twitched inside him, something old and familiar. He bit his lower lips to stop himself from saying something he would regret. He heard Jaehyun letting out another sigh but didn't turn to him.

“Are you seriously not going to talk to me?”

Silence.

“You know I won't stop until you talk to me.”

Taeyong let out a grunt.

“Lee Taeyong.”

First try. No response.

“Taeyong.”

Still no response.

“Husband?”

Taeyong squeezed his hands together, trying so hard not to squirm on his seat and fighting the blush that threatened to color his cheeks. Jaehyun, that cheeky asshole, knew his weakness and played dirty by trying to attack him with it. But Taeyong won't give him the satisfaction of getting an upper hand. He grumbled but still refused to talk and look at Jaehyun.

“Baby, kitty, princess, angel—”

“Shut up, shut up, shut up!”

Taeyong finally turned to Jaehyun, hissing and scowling at him. But he knew it was his loss because now he was flushed from head to toe and there was no way he could hide it. Jaehyun, on the other hand, was smiling in triumph as he looked at Taeyong's blushing face.

“Now I get your attention.”

Taeyong threw him dagger looks, his eyebrows pulling together. It was obvious that he was pissed.

“You and your annoying competitive streak.”

Jaehyun just shrugged but his smile widened. Taeyong could see his dimples and the wrinkles around his eyes and the latter looked so much like the young Jaehyun he used to know that it pained him just to look at his face. He absolutely hated himself for noticing such small things but he just couldn't help it.

Things shouldn't be this easy, familiar, and comfortable. Taeyong expected some kind of tension between them because they hadn't talked in years. He thought that what happened in the past would strain their dynamic but here they were, being together in a small space, breathing in the same air, but how they acted around each other was still the same. They just naturally fell into the same old habit and it was getting harder for Taeyong to put up his façade.

“Is there something you want to eat?”

“Who said I wanted to eat with you?”

Jaehyun couldn't help but smile as he watched Taeyong sulking. His arms were crossed over his chest and his lips were jutted out a little. He was still as cute as Jaehyun remembered.

“You know I will make you.” He said with a shrug. “Me and my annoying competitive streak, remember?”

“Whatever,” he grumbled, looking out at the windows. “As long as you behave. If you try to do something funny, I will ditch you.”

“Aye, aye, captain!”

* * *

When they arrived at the venue, Taeyong immediately went to his mother who had been waiting for his arrival. Doyoung and Ten were also there and Jaehyun briefly greeted them before going to his group of friends, Johnny and Yuta, who were standing at the end of the aisle.

Jaehyun didn't know how to feel about this. He was happy because this was the very first time the six of them met after his break-up with Taeyong. But, at the same time, he wished that their reunion could be in other circumstances. It wasn't like he didn't want to marry Taeyong. He was happy and glad that it was Taeyong he was going to marry. He could admit that to himself easily because the truth was, he'd never stopped loving Taeyong. He'd been dreaming about this since forever. He’d dreamed about it when they were still together, when they were apart, and it was still the same until now. But now that it happened, part of him couldn’t be fully happy. He felt selfish because he knew that Taeyong was unhappy. He knew that the latter only agreed to this because it was part of the deal between their families.

For Jaehyun, it was more than that. The moment he saw Taeyong again, he'd told himself that he would take what he could get. He deserved all the torture after what he did to Taeyong. And if he had to start over to win his heart again, he'd do it in a heartbeat.

“Well, here comes the groom!” Yuta patted Jaehyun's back a bit forcefully, making the latter coughed in surprise.

“Yuta, he's going to get married tomorrow. Don't kill him.”

Jaehyun hissed in annoyance as he tried to dodge another slap from Yuta. The latter laughed and Johnny only watched them in amusement.

“Alright, stop it, you two,” Jaehyun said as he straightened his back. “Now where’s my ring? Give it to me.” 

“So impatient,” Yuta tsked, turning to Johnny and signaled his friend to comply Jaehyun's request. “Give the lover boy the ring, John.”

Johnny took out a small velvet box from his pocket and handed it to Jaehyun who touched it carefully as if his life depended on it. Originally, it was his mother who would pick out the ring because Jaehyun knew he won’t be able to give Joohyun what she deserved. But after knowing he was going to marry Taeyong, he immediately asked Johnny and Yuta to accompany him ring shopping, going to one store to another until he found the right ring. He wasn't looking for something extravagant or shining because he knew that Taeyong wouldn’t like it. He looked for something that his heart wanted.

After spending hours looking for it, he finally found it and it was a perfect fit. 

“I can’t believe you're going to marry the love of your life. Remember when you used to tell us about it? Now it happens.”

Yuta recalled as he looked across the room where Taeyong and his friends were standing. When he turned to Jaehyun again, the smile on his face was genuine.

“I'm happy for you, Jaehyun. I really am.”

Jaehyun’s eyes flickered to Taeyong and it was as if the latter could feel his gaze because almost immediately he turned, their eyes locking and it sent shivers down Jaehyun's spine. It didn't last for more than three seconds and Taeyong quickly looked away.

Jaehyun pretended his heart didn't lurch at that.

“Thanks, Yuta,” Jaehyun sighed. “I just wish that Taeyong could be happy about this marriage, too.”

“Hey, don't say that,” Johnny wrapped his arm around his shoulders and gave them a firm squeeze as an attempt to show his support. “What you had with Taeyong wasn’t something others could have, you know. You're lucky that you got a second chance. This time, you have all the time in the world to make this work. You just have to be patient and try harder. I believe things will eventually fall into places.”

“The fact that you're here is enough proof that you two are fated,” Yuta added, patting his back reassuringly.

Jaehyun smiled gratefully at his friends. He was thankful for them. Had it not been for their encouragement, he wouldn't be as composed and grounded as now. It took a lot of reassurance for him to be brave enough to pursue Taeyong again. To fix the broken pieces and make things better. This might go terribly wrong but at least he'd tried.

To lift the sudden emotional mood, Yuta jokingly said, “If you can win Taeyong's heart back, I'll confess to Doyoung.”

Johnny scoffed. “You're just making excuses so we don't pressure you.”

“You can just come up to Doyoung and say ‘hey, it took me nine years to realize my feelings for you but I'm willing to try now’. That shouldn't be hard for the almighty Nakamoto Yuta.”

Yuta hissed, throwing his friends a betrayal look. “Shut up, you two. If someone hears that, I'm dead, okay?”

“It's not our fault that you're such a coward.” Johnny shrugged, his eyes twinkling with mirth.

The mellow atmosphere quickly melted because of their usual bickering.

“Shut up, Jonathan,” Yuta huffed, his eyes darting around the room, trying to find a familiar face. When he found Doyoung, he looked at his back longingly and sighed, “Doyoung will kill me if I suddenly come up to him and confess. I haven’t taken him out on a date yet.”

“Then do it,” Jaehyun encouraged him. “He likes you, too, you know.”

“I know that. I'm not blind or in denial. I'm just saying that I have to do it right or else I'll ruin everything,” Yuta quickly changed the topic when Soojung announced that the rehearsal would start in a minute. “Enough for my nonexistent relationship. It's Jaehyun's moment. Go and grab your man, prince charming.”

* * *

As soon as the traditional wedding march was blasted inside the venue, Taeyong's face went as white as a sheet.

“I feel like I'm going to throw up.”

Doyoung and Ten were quick to rush to his side.

“No, honey,” Ten gently pushed his hair out of his face. “You're just nervous.”

“Nervous because of what?”

“Pre-wedding jitters, you stupid,” Doyoung deadpanned. “It's fine to trip over your own feet. It's just a rehearsal.”

“Doyoung, that's not helping at all!” Ten scolded his friend, giving him a warning look.

Taeyong’s eyes widened in horror.

“Oh, god. I'm going to embarrass myself in public. I can't do this. I—”

“Taeyongie, calm down,” Ten held Taeyong's face in his hand, cupping his cheeks gently and forcing his friend to look at him. “You're not going to embarrass yourself. You're going to be okay. You've got this. Now try to control your breath.”

Taeyong did as he's told. He tried to concentrate on his breathing, counting each movement of his lungs.

_One, two, three. _

_In and out. _

_In and out. _

“Better now?” Ten asked as Taeyong's breathing slowly evened out.

“Yes. Better.”

A sudden fanfare trilled through the soaring music. Taeyong recognized his cue.

Doyoung turned to Taeyong. His expression was serious but when he spoke, his voice was gentle.

“Okay, we have to go now. Don’t freak out. One step at a time, remember?”

Taeyong nodded dutifully. “One step at a time.”

“You can do this, Taeyongie. Good luck!”

Ten and Doyoung kissed Taeyong's cheek before leaving their friend.

_One step at a time. Slowly. _

Taeyong kept reminding himself as he began to walk through the open door into the aisle. The march was too slow for him but thankfully the aisle was short. He tried not to think the possibility of him tripping over his own feet—or _air_—because he would begin hyperventilating. He didn’t lift his eyes from his feet, though he could hear the rustling of the audience as he came into view. Blood quickly flooded his cheeks. God, now he would be counted on to be the blushing groom.

Taeyong heard a cough that sounded so much like his mother's and slowly lifted his head. He blushed more deeply as he took in the crowd of faces all focus on him. He told himself to stay conscious as he walked down the aisle.

There weren’t many people there but Taeyong recognized all of them. Yoora and Sooyeon were standing next to each other. They gave him their motherly smile as they watched him taking his time, knowing that the sudden attention overwhelmed him. Ten and Doyoung were standing behind the first row. They looked proud as he looked at him and it boosted up his confidence. He straightened his back and lifted his chin, trying to walk more confidently. His friends gave him a thumps up and he had to surpass a giggle that tried to escape his lips.

There were also Yuta and Johnny on the audience and Taeyong was hit with a wave of nostalgia as he watched them smiling brightly at him. It had been a while since the last time Taeyong saw them. Though their friendship was fine, things weren’t exactly the same after the break-up. They didn’t meet often but now that the two of them were here, Taeyong felt somehow completed.

And then Taeyong found him, standing at the end of the aisle, waiting for him. Their eyes locked and all of sudden his face was the only thing that filled Taeyong's vision and overwhelmed his mind. The image of him looking like a forgotten dream made his throat seized and it took everything in him not to run away from there.

And then, Taeyong was there, right in front of him.

Jaehyun held out his hand, waiting.

Taeyong felt his heart stopped beating for a moment. He froze, staring at him as their past flashed before his eyes. He'd dreamed about this before—of their future together. He'd dreamed about this moment. Now it happened but Taeyong could feel something inside him broke because it's not real.

_It wasn’t real. _

“Taeyong?”

Taeyong blinked and found Jaehyun was looking at him. They looked at each and their eyes spoke so many things yet none of them dared to decipher them.

“Will you take my hand?” Jaehyun asked, his look and voice softened.

Taeyong swallowed the lump down his throat and he knew that the moment he held Jaehyun's hand, there was no turning back.

* * *

Eventually, the rehearsal was over after Taeyong had successfully walked down the aisle and the couple practiced their vows. The rest of the audience almost cried when it was time to say the binding words meanwhile Taeyong and Jaehyun desperately trying not to look into each other's eyes.

When Taeyong was about to go, Jaehyun held his wrist gently to stop him.

“Wait. I want to give you the ring.”

Taeyong's eyes widened in alarmed, dread setting at the pit of his stomach. This wasn’t part of the rehearsal. He wasn’t prepared for this at all.

“Oh!” Sooyeon who heard what Jaehyun said letting out a gasp. “Jaehyunie, you've found the ring?”

Jaehyun didn’t even turn to his mother as he nodded. His gaze held Taeyong's, unwavering.

“Then go and propose to my son properly, Jaehyun-ah,” Yoora encouraged him and now everyone in the room stopped their movement to watch the pair.

Taeyong knew it was already too late to escape so he only nodded at Jaehyun, silently giving him his permission. He watched as the latter pulled something out of his pocket and he could feel his heart thudded audibly against his ribcage.

And then Jaehyun opened the box, revealing a platinum wedding band that sparkled under the bright shine of the twinkle lights. Taeyong gasped at the ring and he could hear a surprised squeal from their mothers as they peered curiously in an attempt to get a glimpse of it.

It was beautiful. Taeyong wasn’t one for rings and he'd never mentioned before that he would prefer something modest, something that wouldn’t attract attention. The ring was perfect and it looked exactly like how he wanted it to be. It looked like something he would love to wear. 

“Lee Taeyong,” Jaehyun started, his voice cracked a little at the end. “Will you…”

Jaehyun stopped, the words got stuck on his throat. Taeyong could only stare at him, eyes wide and lips slightly parted, waiting for him.

“Will you try again with me?”

Taeyong heard confused murmurs from their mothers. They didn’t understand the implying meaning of those words but he knew exactly what he meant.

_It was just for a show. It wasn’t real. _

The words were ringing in his ears and for a moment he couldn’t think of anything. Everything Jaehyun did remind him of the past and it took all of his willpower not to crack right there in front of people.

“Y-yes.” He finally said.

When Jaehyun slid the ring onto his finger, it fitted perfectly as if it belonged there.

The deal had sealed.

* * *


	4. something old and new, something blue, and something burrowed

* * *

The next morning, Taeyong woke up feeling horrible because he didn’t get a good sleep. Yoora went frantic when she saw the bags under his eyes but he couldn’t care less. His stomach churned the whole day through, barely saying a word as he was prepped and plucked and scrubbed. He drifted in and out a little while he was being polished every surface of his body.

It was before lunchtime when his mother showed up. She squealed as soon as she saw him, gushing over him before she was all the way through the door. Taeyong blushed when his mother looked at him with amazement in her eyes.

“God, you look so beautiful, Taeyongie,” she cooed. She looked like she wanted to touch him but pulled her hands away almost immediately. “You look perfect. I will ruin your look if I touch you.”

Taeyong blushed. “Mom, I'm not that good.”

Taeyong wasn’t confident. He had been avoiding looking at himself in the mirror because he was afraid the image of him in suits would send him into a panic attack.

“Nonsense!” Yoora strongly disagreed, taking Taeyong's face in her hands ever so carefully, barely touching because she didn’t want to ruin his make-up. “You look amazing. So graceful and elegant. The most beautiful groom I've ever seen.”

“Probably because I'm the only groom you've ever seen?”

“This brat,” Yoora slapped Taeyong's butt playfully, making the latter giggle. “Jaehyunie is very lucky to have you as his husband.”

Taeyong's smile flattened. It reminded him that it wasn’t him who was supposed to marry Jaehyun. It supposed to be his sister. He was just here to replace her.

As if she could read his mind, Yoora’s eyes softened as he looked at him. A hint of sadness flashed before her eyes but it was gone as quick as it appeared.

“I’m sorry you have to go through this,” she said. “I'm sure she feels guilty too for putting you into this situation.”

Taeyong kept mum. Yoora and Sooyeon didn’t know about his past relationship with Jaehyun. Soojung knew about it because he'd met her a few times before when he was still with Jaehyun. She didn’t tell anyone about it and Taeyong was grateful for it. She hadn’t changed at all. She was still so lovely and kind to him.

Taeyong thought it was better that way. If his mother knew about it, she'd probably feel bad for making Joohyun marry his son's ex-boyfriend. But then again, fate worked in a very weird way, and here he was. About to marry his ex-boyfriend, the one who left him many years ago, yet still held a place in his heart—not that he would admit it out loud.

“It’s okay, mom,” he choked out. “I told you I'm willing to do this.”

“I have something for you.”

Yoora took something out from his purse and handed a letter over to him. Taeyong’s throat closed as he saw a neat handwritten ‘_Joohyunie’_ in the middle of it.

“She sent this yesterday,” she said. “Taeyongie, you know that we love you, right?”

Taeyong nodded and he couldn’t help his glassy eyes. “I love you too, mom.”

She smiled and there was something in her eyes that held meaning but Taeyong wasn’t sure about it.

“Follow your heart, sweetheart.”

Yoora could see the confusion in his son's eyes as she embraced him but she didn’t say anything else. She then leaned over and kissed Taeyong’s cheek gently before leaving.

As his mother made her way out of the room, Taeyong sat down, staring at the letter in his hand for a whole five minutes, bracing himself. After taking a deep breath, he slowly unfolded the paper.

_To: Tyongie~ _

_Taeyongie, I want to start this letter by saying I’m sorry. _

_I’m sorry for forcing you to take a role you didn’t want to. I'm sorry for running away from my duty. There are a lot of things I wanted to tell you but I can’t. Not right now. I promise you that when the right time comes, I'll tell you everything. _

_I'm sorry _ _I couldn’t be there for you_ _. I might be away but my prayers are always with you. I wish you all the happiness you deserve. _

_I love you, baby brother. _

_Joohyunie _

It took everything in Taeyong not to burst in tears. He clutched the letter against his chest. His legs felt weak and he tried to control his breath. It still didn’t feel right for him to be here. To take a place that wasn’t his in the first place. He wished things didn’t turn out the way it was now but there was no turning back. No way to escape.

There was a knock outside the door and someone informed him that it was the time for him to go down. Straightened his back, Taeyong kept the letter inside the pocket of his pants and stood up.

_It's time. _

* * *

The hall fell into a solid silence as Taeyong walked down the aisle. Jaehyun watched him and his breath got stuck in his throat because the latter looked breathtakingly beautiful. He looked like a dream came true that it made something deep inside him ached longingly.

He offered his hand and Taeyong took it. The priest said his part and when it was the time for them to say the binding words, that was when the realization hit Jaehyun hard. _It’s happening. _

“I do,” he vowed, his voice trembled as he held Taeyong's delicate hand. The words rang clear in his ears.

Taeyong might think that it wasn’t real. That it was just a deal. But for Jaehyun, it wasn’t. For him, it was real.

“I do,” Taeyong said, his voice was barely audible.

The priest declared them as husbands. Jaehyun took a step forward and cradled Taeyong’s face in his hand carefully as if it was the first time he did that. He looked at him in the eye to convince himself that he was real because he was afraid that the latter might leap away again. He wanted to convey his emotions, but he couldn’t.

They kissed and the crowd erupted into applause. But it was awkward despite he and Taeyong sharing many in the past. This one just felt like the two of them bumping mouths together because they had no choice. It lasted for a split second and they pulled away as if they burned.

* * *

It was the time for the first customary dance when Taeyong realized that he was married now. Jaehyun held Taeyong with both hands on the small of his back and Taeyong wrapped his arms around his neck.

Taeyong couldn’t bear to look at the man he just married. Every time he saw his hand, he thought of that same hand holding him, gripping his waist, his thighs, his hips, and the feel of his hand against his skin. Every time he spoke, he remembered that same deep, rumbling voice saying his name, feeling its vibration against his ears. Jaehyun still smelled the same too; he smelled like their old days and Taeyong remembered how the scent used to linger on his skin, his clothes, and his hair. How he carried with him for weeks, even months after their break-up.

It had been years and Taeyong had done such a great job holding up without him and now that he was married, he couldn’t bring himself to feel happy because it didn’t feel real for him.

They slow-danced in silence for the first half of the song, keeping up with each other’s movements seamlessly until Jaehyun decided to talk first.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured, not looking at Taeyong’s face. “I’m sorry you have to go through this. I’m sorry this happened.”

Taeyong’s throat instantly closed. His jaw clenched as he felt a new sob rising. Jaehyun’s words stung more than he could imagine, sending a sharp pain through his chest. Of course for Jaehyun, it was just a deal. Nothing more than that. After all, it was him who ended things between them because he was tired of Taeyong and their relationship.

Forcing himself to swallow the lump down his throat, Taeyong's face hardened and his lips pressed into a tight line.

“Well, it already happened,” he spat, his voice coming out harsher than he intended. “I know that you don’t want this—_me_—but there’s nothing we can do about that now.”

Jaehyun seemed startled to hear that. He looked down at Taeyong but now it was the latter who refused to look at him.

“Taeyong, that’s not what I meant.”

“We're not having this conversation right now,” Taeyong said through gritted teeth, flashing a bright smile to people in the room who had been watching them.

But Jaehyun knew better than anyone else that it was fake.

“Taeyong—“

“Smile and be happy, Jaehyun. That’s all we need to do right now.”

They dropped the conversation and went on with the dance. They twirled under the glow of bright lights and bright flashes from the cameras. Taeyong tried not to think the way Jaehyun held him closer and closer as if the latter was afraid that he might leap away. He focused on the crowd and kept smiling until his cheeks hurt.

Eventually their dance was over and Taeyong found himself being handed through the crowd, passed from embrace to embrace. The first one who caught him was his father, and then his father-in-law. Taeyong also danced with Ten and Doyoung. Both of them ended up crying on Taeyong’s shoulders like a baby.

It was Yuta who approached Taeyong first. He held his hand out, silently asking for permission, and Taeyong was in his arms in an instant.

“Hello, Kittyong. It’s been a while.”

Yuta smiled cheekily at him, purposely using the pet name to tease him. Taeyong slapped his shoulder playfully, making the latter yelp in surprise.

“You still haven’t changed at all.”

They looked at each other and laughed. It warmed Taeyong’s heart to know that Yuta was still the same person he knew many years ago. It was true that he became friends with Yuta and Johnny through Jaehyun but the bond between them was just as strong as he had with Ten and Doyoung.

Yuta was a tease. When Taeyong was still with Jaehyun, Yuta always flirted with Taeyong so he could get in Jaehyun’s nerves. The latter liked to rile Jaehyun up. The dynamic Taeyong had with Yuta was different from others. They teased each other and they showed their love through actions.

“You look beautiful tonight,” Yuta said. “Too beautiful for Jaehyun. That brat is so lucky to have you.”

Taeyong couldn’t help the blush that crept up to his cheeks but his eyes were dancing with mirth.

His lips curved upward into a teasing smirk and said, “I think I should warn Doyoung not to give a chance to a flirt like you.”

Yuta let out a scandalous gasp. “How could you, Taeyong! I've been trying to be better for him, you know.”

Taeyong laughed but his face softened. A gentle smile tugged at the corner of his lips.

“You being you is enough, Yuta. I’m pretty sure Doyo will still like you the same.”

Yuta brushed Taeyong's hair away from his face, smiling affectionately at him. 

“I know,” he said. “But he deserves only the best and I’ll give him that.”

“I hope you two will find a way someday and be happy together.”

“Thanks, Taeyongie. I wish you and Jaehyun the same.”

Taeyong’s smile flattered and Yuta easily caught that.

“Taeyong—“

Taeyong shook his head pleadingly. “Not now, Yuta. Please.”

“Okay,” Yuta sighed. “I still wish for your happiness.”

“I know. Thank you, Yuta.”

“You’re exploiting the groom, Yuta.”

Taeyong turned and found Johnny was already standing there. The latter smiled as he held out his hand.

“May I have this dance, princess?”

Yuta leaned over and kissed Taeyong’s cheek before letting go of him. Johnny held him by the waist and Taeyong leaned his head against his chest. They didn’t even try to dance, just swinging together to the left and right.

“I can’t believe our little baby is married now.”

Taeyong groaned. “You sound like my father now.”

“Hey, let me have this moment, okay?”

Taeyong could feel his throat closed and his eyes stung with fresh tears as he choked on his emotion. He always though Johnny as the big brother he’d never had before. Their relationship was always full of affection. Johnny was someone he turned and talked to whenever he needed some serious advice. Back then he was also the one who played the role as the mediator between Taeyong and Jaehyun.

For the past few years things weren’t exactly good between them and Taeyong felt bad for treating them unfairly just because he broke up with Jaehyun.

“I’m sorry,” he choked out, looking up at Johnny who smiled warmly at him. “I’m sorry for not being a good friend to you and Yuta.”

“Don’t say that,” Johnny gently wiped the tears that rolled down Taeyong’s cheeks. “Yuta and I understand that it’s been hard for you. It’s not like you stop talking to us anyway so it’s fine.”

“Still,” he stubbornly insisted. “I could’ve made some effort.”

“What happened in the past is already in the past. We can’t change that. Now we’re good, right?”

Taeyong nodded and Johnny smiled again at him.

“Then it’s enough for all of us.”

Taeyong felt like a heavyweight lifted off his shoulders after that. He felt light like he hadn’t been in years.

Leaning his head against Johnny’s shoulder, he let out a sigh. “Tennie is so lucky to have you.”

Johnny let out a hum.

“Do you think be would be happy if I ask him to marry me?”

Letting out a surprised gasp, Taeyong pulled away to see Johnny’s flushed face. He blinked, his jaw dropping.

“Are you serious?”

Johnny smiled sheepishly. “Well, I might or might not have bought a ring for him.”

“Oh, Johnny,” Taeyong cried again. “He would be the happiest man. Trust me.”

“Hey, why are you crying? Someone might think I did something to you.”

Taeyong sniffled. “I’m just so happy for you. Am I the first one to know?”

“Yes,” Johnny replied, wiping Taeyong’s tears with his thumbs. “Do I get your blessing? You and Doyoung are very important for Tennie.”

“You don’t have to ask for it. I’m rooting on you two since college.”

“Thank you, Taeyong. I really appreciate that.”

Taeyong grinned. “I’m expecting an invitation to be the best man. I can’t lose from Yuta.”

“Aye, aye, princess!”

* * *

Jaehyun found Soojung leaning over the railing on the balcony, looking out at the busy street outside. He slid next to her, loosening his tie a little so he could breathe. The reception was almost over. Everyone was busy mingled with each other that they didn’t notice the absence of the groom.

“I’ve been looking for you everywhere,” he said. “I didn’t get to dance with you.”

Soojung snorted. “As if I wanted to dance with you.”

“I can’t believe I got slandered on my wedding day.”

Jaehyun had been holding himself throughout the day. He didn’t cry when he danced with his mother whilst listening to her heartfelt wish on his marriage. He didn’t cry when Johnny and Yuta gave their toasts as his best men. He didn’t cry when his father told him just how proud he was to see him became a man that he was today.

But now, for some reasons, as he stood there looking at his sister, his eyes stung with fresh tears. It just occurred to him how fast time flew. They weren’t kids anymore. They had stopped playing hide and seek and running around the backyard while screaming and laughing a long time ago. They’ve grown but Soojung was still the same person Jaehyun turned to when he needed someone to talk. Their jobs kept them busy but his sister was always so ready to drop everything when he needed her. She was one of the most precious people in his life and now he felt bad for not saying that often.

“Don’t look at me with those eyes, you ugly,” Soojung threatened with tears already running down her cheeks. Jaehyun chuckled as he took a step forward and enveloped his sister in a bone-crushing hug.

“I love you,” he rasped, his voice thick with emotions. “I’m gonna miss you the most.”

“It’s not like you move out of the country, stupid. You’re just married now.”

She started to sob and Jaehyun laughed in between tears, holding her tightly.

“I still love you.”

“Of course I love you, too, stupid.”

They held each other for another minute before pulling away. Soojung let out a series of complaints as she wiped her tears with a handkerchief meanwhile Jaehyun laughed at his sister’s face.

They were so much alike. They couldn’t be affectionate to each other for too long to avoid embarrassing emotional displays.

“Stop laughing, stupid. You ruined my face. I look ugly just like you now.”

“You always look ugly for me.”

Soojung glared at him. “Choke and die, brother.”

“And let Taeyong be a widower on his wedding day? Not a chance.”

Soojung's face turned serious at the mention of Taeyong. Jaehyun could see the worry in her eyes and before she could say something, he beat her to it.

“I know what you’re about to say,” he sighed. “But you know that at this point, nothing could stop me. I will win him back.”

“I wasn’t going to say anything.”

Jaehyun lifted one of his eyebrows, obviously doubting her. He knew his sister so well and he could read her easily. 

“I know that nothing could stop you. I just want you to be careful. It will be hard to convince him after what happened in the past.”

Soojung was the only person, except his friends, who knew about his relationship with Taeyong and how badly it affected Jaehyun after their separation. She was there when Jaehyun drown himself into works while trying to forget Taeyong, barely living. She was there when he went through dark and hard times. She was always so patient and caring. She was also the one who helped him up until he found his ground again.

“I don’t want you to get hurt again, Jaehyunie.”

Jaehyun smiled reassuringly at her.

“Don’t worry, nuna. I won't. Even if I did, let’s think of it as a punishment for hurting Taeyong. What I did to him was unfair.”

“But—“

“Just tell me that you’re going to support me. Please? That’s all I need right now.”

Soojung huffed. Of course his brother was stubborn—just like her. They were siblings for a reason.

“Fine,” she huffed in defeat. “Just call me when you need me, okay?”

“Yes, ma'am.”

* * *

When the reception was over, Sooyeon and Yoora escorted Taeyong to the dressing room. Doyoung and Ten were also there to help him packing for his honeymoon. Taeyong had been trying not to think about the honeymoon part because it would send him into another panic attack. Now it was happening and it took him minutes to compose himself. He knew nothing about the destination and no one told him anything because they were just as clueless as he was. Even his mother didn’t know about it. His mother-in-law only told him that it was all Jaehyun who planned the honeymoon. He got a piece of information from Soojung telling him that it would be far from the city.

After changing into comfortable clothes, Taeyong barely registered his surrounding as he was rushed outside. He could feel Jaehyun’s arms around his waist, pulling him closer against him. The guests made another aisle for them as they made their way to the car. Once inside, Taeyong rolled down the windows to see his family and friends. He waved his hand at the crowd as they speeding away.

Taeyong didn’t ask why Jaehyun was the one who drove the car. He didn’t ask where they were going. But Jaehyun also said nothing, his eyes staring ahead.

Taeyong leaned his head against the windows and closed his eyes. More exhausted than he thought, he slowly drifted off to sleep, unaware of the warm heat that enveloped his hand. 

* * *


	5. the things we hide

* * *

Taeyong’s eyes were heavy with sleep and he felt groggy as he tried to take in his surrounding. He straightened his back and groaned as he felt soreness on his waist. He was about to rub his eyes when he felt dampness on his cheeks. His eyes widened in horror as he realized that he must’ve cried on his sleep. Sometimes it happened when he thought too much but it had been a while since the last time it happened. Did he make a sound? Did Jaehyun hear him?

Taeyong could feel dread slowly setting at the pit of his stomach but when he turned to his left, Jaehyun wasn’t there. He blinked in confusion and a moment later he realized that he was alone in the car. Did Jaehyun leave him?

He looked out the windows and let out a gasp when he saw the ocean, momentarily distracted with Jaehyun’s absent. The moon peeked through the clouds, hanging low and wan. It cast a pale glow over the water. It was dark but Taeyong could already feel the excitement bubbling inside him. He couldn't wait until tomorrow when the sun was up and the sky was clear. He wanted to see clear water. Now he was content enough to enjoy the waves.

Not knowing what to do, Taeyong slid out of the car and almost instantly the roar of the surf and the biting salt spray hit him. The rhythmic surge of the ocean grounded him to the moment, giving him a sense of calm and clarity. Something he needed the most at the moment.

“You’re awake.”

Taeyong was startled when Jaehyun approached him. He opened his mouth to say something but closed it again when he saw Jaehyun's expression. His face gave nothing away and his eyes were guarded. He was suddenly edgy and distant. Taeyong’s guts telling him that it might something to do with him. He wasn’t so sure but he knew Jaehyun long enough to know that it wasn’t a good sign when the latter put up a wall.

“I’m sorry I left you in the car. I was about to wake you up after carrying our bags inside the house.”

“Where are we?”

“My private resort in Jeju,” Jaehyun replied curtly. “Come on. Let’s get inside. You need to take a rest.”

Jaehyun didn’t wait for Taeyong and walked ahead first. Taeyong pretended that his sudden cold demeanor didn’t sting and followed _his husband—_the new title sounded strange and awkward.

They walked for a short while and it was pitch black. Taeyong had to watch his steps as he took in the sight around him. And then he could finally see warm light ahead and realized that it was a house—two perfect squares with wide windows framing in the front. It was huge and it was also the only house there. It was literally private.

Taeyong could feel his heart thudded audibly against his chest—he couldn’t tell whether it was anticipating or dread feeling that vibrating beneath his skin. It was mixed and he was too distracted with the view to fathom it. They finally stepped inside the porch that framed by potted plants and decorated in dark woods and colorful ceramic tiles. The door wasn’t locked and they stepped right in.

The house was rustic. The living area was massive with its wide-open terrace and white couches spread across the bamboo floor. A warm breeze blew in, kissing Taeyong’s face and sifting through his hair. He tucked it behind his ear as he watched Jaehyun's broad back. When the latter turned around, his face was void of emotion.

“Did you like it?” He asked quietly.

Taeyong nodded his head. It was beautiful but he didn’t say it out loud.

“I already ordered dinner in. Tilapia and rice and some fresh fruit. If you want something else, just tell me. But it might take a while to deliver them because this house is quite far away. If you want to cook, the fridge and cupboard are full of ingredients.”

Again, Taeyong nodded dutifully.

“Your bags are already in your room. It’s over there at the corner. If there’s anything missing, just let me know and we’ll get it brought in.”

“Okay,” he said, chewing at the bottom of his lips as he watched the way Jaehyun blatantly avoiding his gaze. “How long will we stay here?”

“Five days. Don’t worry. You’ll have your own room and you’re free to go anywhere you want. I’ll keep my distance.”

That wasn’t something Taeyong expecting at all but before he could say something in return, Jaehyun quickly made a quick escape to his own room. More confused and hurt than before, he padded over to his room. The master bedroom was equally impressive as the rest of the furniture in the house, with a large bed framed by mosquito netting and another open terrace that led directly to a private swimming pool. Taeyong could see the ocean just beyond it.

He looked out the windows at the moon in the distance, wondering how could he survive his honeymoon. He knew that he won’t be able to enjoy this, still sensing that something wasn’t right. That feeling worsened when Jaehyun suddenly being cold and distant. It wasn’t like he hoped more. He knew that they were here because they didn’t have another choice. But it just occurred to him that they were married and they were going to spend the rest of their lives together.

Taeyong wondered how their marriage life would be. Would they ignore each other and go on with their own lives? That was most likely to happen considering their current situation. Taeyong should've known that this would only be another torture for him to endure. He just had to suck it up and move on.

Feeling mentally and physically exhausted after a long night, Taeyong ate his dinner quickly, not really tasting it. He took a shower after that and went straight to bed. He didn’t go out of his room until the next morning.

* * *

The hot sun on Taeyong’s back woke him up the next morning. He opened his eyes to a bright yellow light of sunny day. It was probably late morning. Taeyong blinked to adjust his vision and when he was fully awake, he remembered that he was on honeymoon in a private resort with Jaehyun. For a split second, he thought of just staying in the house but the roar of the waves rolling onto the shore rang in his ears and it was all it took for him to get ready for the day.

When he got out of the room, it was empty. There was no sight of Jaehyun. Everything was quiet, except the seagulls and the pounding surf. For a moment Taeyong wandered aimlessly through the house. It was even brighter during the daylight with its big and open windows. But it also felt so big, especially because he was alone there. Without Jaehyun.

He walked to the windows to admire the way the sun climbing over the blue-sea water. Now he could see things that he couldn't last night. He watched the palm trees sway gently in the warm ocean breeze and felt a kind of peace he rarely caught. He could smell the sweet scent of pine filled his senses—it was strong but pleasing, almost euphoric.

It was when he wandered around the kitchen when he found a sheet of paper that folded in half. He took the note and noticed Jaehyun's handwriting right away.

_Here’s the number of housekeeping if you need something. I’ll be back very late. You can go explore the island. I leave the car keys if you want to go out of the resort. _

_—_ _Jaehyun _

Taeyong should’ve been expecting that Jaehyun would have to leave him. It wasn’t like they were going to spend some time together as a couple. They weren’t here because they wanted to. Taeyong thought maybe it was better this way. This meant he and Jaehyun won’t be in an awkward situation where they had to pretend as a happily married couple. It helped that no one was around here. They were practically isolated.

Feeling determined to make the most out of his time here, Taeyong grabbed the car keys and kept the note inside the drawer in his room.

* * *

Taeyong did everything he could to distract his mind by doing activities that took up a lot of his time and energy. He snorkeled, seeing different reef creatures, corals, and sea turtles. He explored the small jungle on the island, walking and climbing for hours until he’d drained his energy. By the time he came back to the house, he was too exhausted to do anything else after taking a quick shower and went straight to bed.

He didn’t see Jaehyun the whole day. He also didn’t see him the next morning despite waking up earlier than before. If it weren’t for a full breakfast set in the kitchen, Taeyong would've thought that his husband didn’t come back to the house at all.

Taeyong didn’t want to think much about it so he decided to go out of the island with the car. He went to buy some souvenirs for his friends and spent hours sitting in a café while reading a novel he’d bought earlier. He went to a small French restaurant to have dinner and wandered around for hours, watching street musicians sang and buying more souvenirs after that.

Jaehyun wasn’t there when he got home—_again_. Taeyong saw the food on the kitchen along with a note but he ignored it and went to his room. For the following days, his activities were pretty much the same. He went out when the sun was high in the sky and tried more water sports. He did sea-walking, scuba diving, and even climbed up the cliff near the resort.

Days went by and on the last day of the honeymoon, Taeyong decided to spend his day walking around the beach, waiting for the sun to set while trying to clear his mind off everything. It was already past dinner when he came back to an empty house. After taking a quick shower to wash off the sands on his body, he called the housekeeper not to send him food because he wanted to cook. It was still too early to sleep so he needed to do something. After he’d finished eating, he went to the living area to watch some movies on the big-screen plasma TV. But he was full and worn-out. He could barely keep his eyes open and ended up sleeping on the couch.

Taeyong woke up in the middle of the night, groggy and dazed. The first thing that he noticed was he was on his room, lying on his bed with blankets wrapped up around him. The room was dark and he could barely see.

It must be Jaehyun who carried him to the bed. That meant the latter was home. It wasn’t like Taeyong care anyway. Or maybe he did. But Jaehyun was the one who ignored him for no reason. What made him upset was the fact that the latter was also the one who suggested them to be civil. Taeyong was confused, but more than anything, he was hurt. It reminded him of the days Jaehyun used to treat him the same. It left him clueless and helpless and he didn’t like that kind of feeling.

Knowing that he wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep, Taeyong slid out of the bed and padded over to the door. When he came out of his room, the sudden brightness startled him. He blinked rapidly, trying to adjust his vision. He walked to the kitchen to get some water to drink but halted his steps when he caught the familiar figure there.

It was as if Jaehyun could sense his presence because almost instantly he turned around. Taeyong stared at him, noting the several feet between them. He could see his eyes glittered in the soft light cast by the dimmed lighting in the room. His shoulders were tensed and for some reasons that Taeyong didn’t know, the latter was still edgy and distant.

“Taeyong, why are you awake?”

Taeyong just continued staring at him without saying anything.

Jaehyun sighed. “Go back to sleep, Taeyong. You looked exhausted when I found you sleeping on the couch. You need to take a rest.”

The genuine concern and the gentle voice snapped Taeyong's nerve and the composure he’d fought to hold on disintegrated.

“You think you have rights to show your concern to me after ignoring me for days?” He said, and he didn’t mean to give his feeling away, but he couldn’t help the way his voice throbbed with all the frustration he’d been holding in these past few days. “I don’t understand you, Jaehyun. You said we should be civil but you’re also the one who pretends that I don’t exist. You were gone like a ghost leaving me alone in this big house. What do you want from me, Jaehyun? If you want us to be strangers then say it. I will gladly do it.”

Taeyong watched the way Jaehyun’s body went rigid, his face was ashen and his lips parted in shock. The latter took a step forward but Taeyong took a step back, his eyes widened in warning. He didn’t have enough energy to have a confrontation right now. He’d already give his feeling away and he wasn’t ready for his reaction.

“Taeyong—”

Taeyong shook his head frantically as he took another step back. Without waiting for Jaehyun's answer, he turned around and ran back to his room with an aching heart and fresh tears running down his cheeks.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i feel like this is too short so i'll update chapter six this monday^^ thank you for all the support for this fic. it means a lot to me <3


	6. heart on the line

* * *

Taeyong had barely fallen asleep when he heard thunder rumbled in the distance. Light exploded through the room, jolting him awake. He sat up straight in bed, panting for breath as if he’d just run a marathon. He heard the roar of thunder rattled the windows followed with a downpour of rain. Suddenly the lights from the nightstand were off and darkness surrounded him.

_The power is out. _

Cold panic gripped his chest and he could feel sweat started running down his temple. Taeyong curled up into a ball, closing his eyes tightly. He didn’t like this. He never liked darkness and the bolt of lightning that exploded outside made his body trembled. Panic stuttered his thoughts and he didn’t know what to do. He struggled to breathe, gripping the sheets so hard his knuckles turned white. His blood rushing and his stomach clenched unpleasantly.

The wind blew stronger and stronger, the rain drove more violently, and another heavy roll of thunder broke over the house. Taeyong gasped and that was when he felt strong arms pulled his body into a warm familiar embrace.

“Taeyong, baby, it’s okay. I’m here.”

_Jaehyun_.

Taeyong could feel Jaehyun's arms tight around him, holding his shaking body. He was here. He was with him. And just like that, tears overflowed from his eyes without warning, gushing down his face.

“Taeyong,” he said, alarmed now. “Don’t cry. I'm here. You’re not alone.”

“Jaehyun—” Taeyong couldn’t contain the low sob that broke in his voice. “Jaehyun.”

Jaehyun pulled Taeyong even closer, their chest pressed and their legs entangled. They were so close—the closest they could be for the first time in years. Taeyong shuddered as he felt the electric warmth sparked something inside him. He didn’t want him. He didn’t want to miss him, but he did. Being this close again and smelled his familiar fragrance reminding him how safe he’d felt in his arms.

Trying to get control of his breathing but failed, Taeyong wrapped his arms around Jaehyun's neck in a chokehold and sobbed into his throat.

“Love, it’s okay. You’re fine. I'm here with you,” Jaehyun rocked him back and forth, unaware of the pet names that had slipped from his lips. His focus was solely on Taeyong.

Pressing his lips against Taeyong's forehead, Jaehyun started to shower his face with small reassuring kisses. It was a habit he’d grown to calm Taeyong. He always did this when the latter had a panic attack. At the back of his mind, he knew he shouldn’t do this. Not when Taeyong was just as vulnerable as he was. But he also just couldn’t sit still and do nothing when Taeyong needed him. At this point, it was his instinct taking over his control.

“It’s okay, love,” he kept murmuring. “You're okay. I’m here.”

Taeyong sucked in a quick, tight breath. Jaehyun held him impossibly closer. There wasn’t any space left between them. Their bodies fitted perfectly as if they were made for each other. Taeyong didn’t know until that moment how badly he needed to feel him like this; tender and close in every possible way.

A sudden need rushed over him. It was so strong, overwhelming him. His throat tightened painfully as the realization finally hit him.

“Jaehyun,” he gasped before he could stop himself. “Jaehyun, I need you. I need you.”

Taeyong could feel the way Jaehyun's body went rigid. He heard him drawing a sharp breath but the latter didn’t loosen his hold around him.

“Taeyong—”

“Please,” he rasped and burst into tears, overwhelmed by the knowledge of how much he needed him. Threading his hands through Jaehyun's hair, Taeyong pulled his head away from his throat and tipped his chin up, pressing his lips against the corner of his mouth.

“_Please_.”

It was all it took for Jaehyun to give in. Their lips touched and his passion and hunger exploded across Taeyong’s senses. It waked something deep inside him, something he’d been trying to bury and forget. And now it vibrated through him.

It felt as if no time had ever passed because their bodies still remembered everything. The tips of Jaehyun's fingers still remembered the shape of his foot, his ankles, his long legs, the firmness of his buttocks, the sun heating his smooth silky skin, the curves, and the shape of his spine. Everything.

Jaehyun took his time, his hands and mouth mapping his body leisurely and imprinting it in his mind all over again. He knew where to touch, knew every place that sent him squirming, his hips bucking, his mouth gasping.

Taeyong could feel shiver ran down his spine. His breathing became erratic, short, and swallow from every touch. All he could hear was the thud of his own heart, pounding against his chest, and the broken rhythm of his breath. This was intense just like when they were younger. All he could remember from then was fast, furious passion, and a need to be with each other.

“Jaehyun,” he let out another sob as the latter deepened their kiss, their tongues stroking, their breaths quickening.

“Angel,” he said, over and over again. Brokenly. Desperately. Breathlessly. “I'm sorry. I’m sorry.”

Taeyong shed more tears. His heart ached longingly. His senses were filled with him.

_Jaehyun. Jaehyun. Jaehyun. _

Jaehyun still remembered how Taeyong liked to be touched. Softly at first, and then a little harder as he got closer. As Taeyong shuddered and tightened, Jaehyun slid a finger inside him, working him open in a quick pace. Taeyong exploded, crying out with an orgasm that left him shaken.

There wasn’t anything Taeyong had experienced in his life that compared to the feeling of Jaehyun's lips against his skin, firm but always so gentle. No one ever kissed him like he did. And no one ever touched him like this; like he was the most precious thing in the world. Tilting his head back, Taeyong arched against him and he surrendered, leaving the last tingles of fear in him.

In the darkness, with their hands linked, Jaehyun began to push. It was slow, easy, and with ease. They held each other’s gaze as Jaehyun slid inside, so deep and raw, ever so slowly and deliberately. It felt as if it was the first time they did that. Taeyong’s breath hitched as he could feel every inch of him. He wrapped his legs around his hips, welcoming him closer and deeper. Jaehyun's breath washed over his face, his big frame trembling as he glided all the way to the root.

“Angel,” he said in a broken voice.

Taeyong searched his eyes in the dark and his heart stuttered as he looked at the way the latter looked at him. Jaehyun held nothing back and Taeyong gave everything in return.

They moved together, their movements in sync. They were dripping with sweat, their skin hot and slick, and their chest heaving for air. Their moans mingled with wild waves, cold breeze, and a roar of thunder.

They hold onto each other as they exploded; two broken hearts came together.

* * *

When Taeyong woke up the next morning, everything besides the time was clear. He knew where he was and he remembered everything from last night. He blinked and saw the brilliant sunlight streaming through the open doors. He stiffened when he realized that he was lying across Jaehyun's chest, his arms wound around him, felt very easy and natural—no wonder he felt strangely comfortable and at ease, felt like he hadn’t in years.

Jaehyun didn’t speak but Taeyong knew that the latter was awake. He could tell by the steady intake of his breath. Slowly, Jaehyun’s fingers moved up and down, barely touching it as he lightly traced patterns on Taeyong’s bare and naked skin.

After waiting for a long moment, Jaehyun still didn’t say anything. Taeyong tilted his head up and found him staring at the canopy above them. He couldn’t see his expression but he could see his taut jaw, felt his tensed shoulders, and knew that it wasn’t a good sign.

He felt like throwing up now. He attempted to get up but Jaehyun was quick to tighten his arms around him.

“Taeyong, don’t.”

“Aren’t you going to say that last night was a mistake?”

“No, angel,” Jaehyun replied in an instant. The pet name that easily slipped from his lips sent a jolt through Taeyong’s body because he knew that Jaehyun said it consciously—not just in the heat of the moment like last night.

When Jaehyun finally looked down to see him, Taeyong's throat constricted as he saw the look in his eyes. He couldn’t bear to see it longer.

Taeyong knew that last night wasn’t supposed to happen. He was supposed to hate Jaehyun after what the latter did to him. But these past few days had been hard for him and it was hard to keep up with his composure. He’d cried himself to sleep after he confronted Jaehyun. He was vulnerable and he had no absolute control over his feeling. When Jaehyun came to him, holding him in his arms like he did many years ago, it felt as if the dam had broken and all those emotions he’d been trying to keep in just burst, overwhelming him.

But he should’ve known that last night was just a temporary. It was a mistake. It shouldn’t happen at all.

“Let me go,” he said, trying to get free from Jaehyun's hold. “Let’s pretend that it didn’t happen and—”

“Angel, stop.”

Jaehyun commanded in a firm tone and Taeyong froze. It was the kind of voice Jaehyun used when he was dead serious. Back when they were still dating, Jaehyun talked in that kind of tone when he tried to take control over the situation so it didn’t get out of hands.

“It wasn’t a mistake,” he explained after a moment of loaded silence. “We were conscious when we did that and I didn’t regret it. We wanted each other. I wanted you, angel. But you know it’s not that simple.”

Jaehyun was right. It was indeed not that simple. Yes, they did it with consent and both of them wanted it. But now what? It didn’t miraculously fix everything. There were still so many things between them—broken promises, unhealing hearts, lack of trust, and a lot of uncertainty. And the one thing crossed Taeyong’s mind was; did he want to try again with Jaehyun? It wasn’t something he could answer right away and he was pretty sure that it would take times.

The tensed air between them was snapped by a loud rang of the phone. Jaehyun didn’t speak as he slid out of the bed and padded over to the nightstand where he left his phone.

Taeyong watched his face morphed into a frown as he accepted the phone call. He also heard him murmuring ‘Nuna’ under his breath—Soojung was calling him. But then Jaehyun's face turned red in an instant. He was suddenly on rage. His lips pressed into a taut line, his jaw set, his nostrils flared up, and his eyes burning. He was too angry to speak in Korean and switched in English. He was arguing with his sister now, grinding his teeth together.

Taeyong could only sit in silence as Jaehyun stormed out of the room like an angry tornado without sparing him a glance. He stared at the door, confused and clueless. He couldn’t recall ever saw him looking so furious like that—never in their four years of relationship. What had happened to make him lose his composure like that?

Just when he was about to follow him, his phone suddenly rang, shrill and demanding. It kept ringing. Over and over again. Taeyong didn’t use his phone a lot during the honeymoon and he wondered what could possibly happen to make his phone suddenly blown up with notifications.

There were a lot of messages from Ten and Doyoung. Taeyong was surprised to find some from Yuta and Johnny. They basically told him the same thing; _don’t watch the news. _

Taeyong was about to reply to their message when suddenly a new notification came in. It was from an unknown number. He opened it and frowned when he found the link from a website. Curious, he clicked it.

**[BREAKING NEWS] CEO JUNG GROUP AND NEWLYWED, JUNG JAEHYUN, WAS SEEN WITH KANG SEULGI, HEIR OF KANG ENTERPRISE. THE TWO OF THEM WERE CAUGHT HAVING A DINNER TOGETHER IN JUNG RESORT—THE SAME PLACE JUNG JAEHYUN AND LEE TAEYONG HAVE THEIR HONEYMOON. DID JAEHYUN LEAVE HIS HUSNAND ON THEIR HONEYMOON?**

Taeyong could feel his stomach crunched as he scrolled down the pictures of Jaehyun with a girl he believed was Kang Seulgi. Taeyong recognized her. He remembered Ten had once slipped and told him that Jaehyun was close with a girl named Kang Seulgi. Johnny told him that the latter had spent a good amount of time with her a few months after their break-up.

One particular picture caught Taeyong’s attention. It was a picture of Jaehyun with his hand on the small of Seulgi's back. They were so close, so intimate. They looked so happy, smiling and laughing. He couldn’t help the way his heart clenched painfully at the sight of Jaehyun looking so happy. That explained why he’d never seen Jaehyun during their honeymoon. His husband was spending his time with another girl.

Taeyong’s brain nearly shut him down. He stared down at his phone for a very long moment, not believing, not wanting to believe it was him.

But it was Jaehyun, undoubtedly. Taeyong knew that he had no absolute reason to get mad or upset over it. After all, his relationship with Jaehyun ended a long time ago and this marriage was just a deal. He’d known that, but having it shoved at his face didn’t stop the agony that slice through the numbness in his heart.

Suddenly the door was swung open and Jaehyun entered hastily. He didn’t look angry now but his face had turned ashen as he looked at Taeyong.

“Angel—” Jaehyun stopped, his eyes caught the picture on Taeyong’s phone screen and he looked like someone had just punched him in the gut.

He took big steps toward Taeyong but all the latter could do was staring. His mind felt numb. He couldn’t think of anything to say.

Jaehyun knelt on his knees and gently took Taeyong’s phone away from his hand. The latter did not put a fight. He kept staring at him, feeling numb.

“Angel, it’s not what it looks like. I can explain.”

“I want to go home,” Taeyong said, completely ignoring his statement. He made his voice calm and without emotion—anything not to give in the brutal agony in his heart.

Jaehyun's face twisted in pain at the rejection.

“Angel—”

“Please?”

Knowing that he wouldn’t be able to do anything to convince Taeyong otherwise, Jaehyun nodded his head in defeat.

“Okay. We’re going home now.”

That day, they didn’t talk to each other. And in silence, both of them knew that their relationship had been strained more than before.

It was over before it began.

* * *


	7. the space between us

* * *

The heavy tension was still lingering between Jaehyun and Taeyong the moment they landed at the airport. There were a lot of reporters waiting for them at the arrival gate that they had to use the private exit to leave. When they were finally inside the car, it occurred to Jaehyun that he’d completely forgot to tell his husband that they were going to live in a new house. He glanced over the side and his stomach tightened as he found his husband was looking out of the windows with a blank face. There was no emotion there. Nothing.

Things weren’t exactly good since their wedding. Jaehyun’s hope was crushed when he heard his husband crying in his sleep on their way to the resort. He couldn’t catch up what the latter was mumbling in his sleep but his cry sounded so painful that it broke Jaehyun’s heart. He began to rethink his decision and decided to stay away from him because he didn’t want to hurt him even more. It killed him to be away from Taeyong and left the latter all alone in the resort. He knew it was unfair for him but he was afraid to approach him, afraid that he might hurt him more than he already did.

Jaehyun spent his days staying in his private house, mostly working. He didn’t even get out enjoying his trip. He didn’t have energy for that. But whenever he came to the house, he always came to his room to see him—it was safe because Taeyong didn’t know about it. Every time he did that, the only thing that came into his mind was how close the distance between them yet so far at the same time.

Taeyong still hadn’t talked to Jaehyun and the latter hadn't found the right time to talk. He desperately wanted to explain everything. To tell him that whatever he'd seen wasn't true. But Taeyong didn't even want to look at him and Jaehyun couldn't blame him for that. It was his fault for not being careful and caused the scandal.

His phone hadn't stopped blowing up since the news came out. His friends had sent him tons of messages, demanding an explanation and cursing the hell out of him. He'd talked to his mother and thankfully she understood. She knew better than to believe everything that was shown in the media. But Soojung was a different story. His sister was furious—mainly because she knew that it wasn't just a simple misunderstanding, especially because it involved Seulgi.

What happened that day was Jaehyun had a business meeting with Seulgi. They just recently became business partners and Seulgi was currently at Jeju at the moment so they decided to meet. Jaehyun didn't know that the paparazzi would follow him but being a public figure, he should've known better.

Soojung wasn't pleased with the news at all. She knew that they were only coworkers but she also knew that Seulgi liked Jaehyun. She told his brother that and the latter fired back by saying that he was aware of it. But it wasn't like he led her on or anything. He was very professional when he was with her and the fact that he was married should be enough for Seulgi to understand that she didn't have a chance with him.

_“Did you see the way she blushed and giggled on those pictures? Clearly she isn’t over you yet_,_”_ Soojung had said when they were arguing on the phone this morning. _“I’m telling you. This won’t be over in an instant. You will meet her from time to time now that you two are business partners. If you’re not careful about this, another scandal will break out.” _

_“Don’t you trust me? I have Taeyong. I wouldn’t even dream of hurting him.” _

_“It’s not you that I don’t trust, stupid,” _ Soojung seethed, grinding her teeth together. _“I don’t trust her. You’d better explain everything to Taeyong. You’re my brother but if you hurt my brother-in-law, I’ll fight you.” _

Frankly speaking, Jaehyun wouldn’t defend himself if his sister did fight him for hurting Taeyong. He would gladly accept it.

As they getting closer to their new house, Jaehyun still hadn’t figured out the way to talk to Taeyong. He wanted to touch him and reassure him about the situation. He wanted to smoothen out the frown between the spaces of his eyebrows that suddenly appeared as they entered the new neighborhood. It was quite far from the city but it was in a private area—exactly what they needed at the moment. Jaehyun had bought the house a few months before but he’d never planned to live there with Joohyun. Originally, if he were to marry her, his mother had already prepared a new house as a gift for them. But then Taeyong happened and Jaehyun knew that he had to live there with the latter—nowhere else but there. 

They almost reached their destination and not being able to hold in anymore, Jaehyun finally opened a conversation after mustering up enough courage.

“Taeyong?”

Taeyong didn’t turn to him but he hummed lowly. It was a good sign for Jaehyun to continue. At least the latter didn’t ignore him.

“I forgot to tell you that we’re going to live in a new house. Aunty had helped to settle all of your stuff there when we were gone. It’s quite far away from your workplace so I hope you don’t mind.”

Taeyong gave another hum as a reply and Jaehyun didn’t push further. He let out a small sigh as he leaned back against the seat. The distance between them was getting bigger and he didn’t know how to cross it.

* * *

It was a sleek and luxurious contemporary house with two floors and expansive windows. The property was architecturally stunning and beautifully designed. It has an open plan, floor to ceiling windows looking out at the most spectacular vistas of hills. It was set back with no neighbors in sight.

Taeyong couldn’t help but feel slightly relaxed as he looked around the house. He liked the tranquil atmosphere. It helped to ease his mind a little. He would like to take a tour inside but he didn’t have enough energy to do that. Not now. All he wanted to do was take a rest and sleep his trouble away.

Jaehyun silently led him upstairs and Taeyong followed closely behind. When they stopped in front of the door at the end of the room, Jaehyun turned to him sheepishly.

“This is supposed to be our room,” he explained. “Our mothers put our stuff together while we were gone. I know that you want a separate room so I’ll let you have it alone. I’ll sleep in a guest room.”

Taeyong didn’t answer, still trying not to look at Jaehyun. Knowing their mothers, he was pretty sure that the guest room was empty because they won’t let them sleep separately. He knew that Jaehyun probably knew that too but he didn’t call him out. He needed some time to be alone and he didn’t want to be around Jaehyun right now.

“Can I get inside now? I’m tired. I want to sleep.”

“Taeyong, can we talk—“

“There’s nothing to talk about,” Taeyong cut him off, finally looking up at his husband. As soon as he looked into his eyes, the image of him smiling with another woman flashed his mind and his stomach tightened again. He couldn’t do this. Not right now.

“I might be your husband right now but I have no absolute rights to control you. You’re free to meet and be with whoever you want. It doesn’t concern me. I won’t invade your personal space or butt in your privacy.”

Without giving Jaehyun a chance to reply, Taeyong quickly slid inside the room and locked the door. He let out a long tired sigh as he leaned back against the door. He could feel Jaehyun’s presence outside and he knew that the latter was still there.

He waited until he heard him leaving to finally move from the door. He went to the bathroom and quickly undressed, ready to take a shower. But he accidentally stared at his naked body in the full-length mirror and let out a gasp. His body was decorated with red and purple marks. It was marked with Jaehyun's touch—his hands, his lips, his tongue. Taeyong stretched and he could finally feel the aches and sore spot on certain parts of his body. He remembered everything from last night—every feel, touch, and gasp that filled his senses. But now it was ruined with the image of Jaehyun with another girl, looking so happy together. The thought put a big lump in his throat and all he wanted to do was scrub his body clean. He wished he could erase the mark on his body but he knew that it would take days for it to fully gone.

Before this, there was something Taeyong tried to be very strict about; he didn't allow himself to think of Jaehyun. As a human, of course he slipped sometimes. He was better and had completely avoided the pain until he met Jaehyun again and everything was thrown back at him in full force. He didn't regret making love with Jaehyun, but he also didn't like the heavy anxiety and dread that followed after that. Everything about last night had suddenly vanished. What seemed real didn't make sense now. All he could feel was numbness and if he had to choose between pain and nothing, he'd chosen nothing.

Turning away from the mirror, Taeyong was determined to forget everything. The honeymoon was over. It was time for him to face reality.

* * *

When Taeyong woke up, the sky was dark outside and it was already past dinner time. He was still tired and edgy as well. He didn't want to get out of the room but he was hungry and his stomach was growling impatiently. Heading downstairs, Taeyong noticed that the house was eerily quiet and there was no sight of Jaehyun—which was a good thing because he still wasn't sure how to face the latter. He heard clanging sound from the kitchen and instantly stopped his movement. He was about to turn around when a familiar figure appeared and caught his presence.

“Taeyongie, you're finally awake!”

Jung Soojung smiled brightly at him and all the agitation dissolved as soon as Taeyong looked at her face, calm slowly taking its place. He breathed a sigh of relief—at least it wasn't Jaehyun.

Taeyong's face lightened up and he smiled as he approached her.

“Nuna, you're here!”

“You woke up just in time. I’ve just finished cooking. I hope you’re hungry?”

“I am,” he said as he stopped beside her, staring at the mouth-watering _kimchi jiggae_ and the side dishes. “You cooked all of these, nuna?”

“Of course!” she proudly said. “Come and have a seat, Taeyongie.”

Taeyong didn’t ask about Jaehyun’s presence but he didn’t have to because Soojung had always been like a master-mind. She could easily read him.

“Jaehyunie isn’t here,” she informed as she took a seat, pulling Taeyong to sit next to her. “He has a meeting with our mother and the higher-ups in the company to discuss the scandal.”

Taeyong’s stomach still crunched uncomfortably whenever the scandal was brought up because his mind would automatically supply the things he didn’t want to remember. But he was glad that Soojung was honest with him. She always had been. Since the very first time Taeyong knew her and got to know her better, he knew that she never sugar-coated her words.

Taeyong didn’t try to smile because he could never pretend in front of Soojung but he still tried to appear nonchalant.

“Okay,” was all he said.

They ate in silence for a few minutes. It wasn't uncomfortable. Neither of them was bothered by the quiet. It was only recently after they met again but Taeyong was never awkward around Soojung and vice versa. They used to be so close back when he was still together with Jaehyun. She was like her own sister.

“So, how was the honeymoon? Did you enjoy it?” she asked after a moment of silence.

Taeyong nodded his head as he turned to her. It wasn't really ideal given that he and Jaehyun didn't spend time together except for the last day. But he did enjoy his time while he was there.

“Yes. I had a great time exploring the resort.”

“Alone?” she asked in a soft knowing tone. She didn’t press him but Taeyong knew that he couldn’t dodge her. 

He swallowed. He’d been caught.

“Yes,” he admitted. “Alone.”

“That brat,” Soojung let out a huff, pinching the bridge of her nose in annoyance. “I can’t believe he did that to you on your honeymoon! What kind of a husband he is? I need to teach him a lesson.”

Taeyong smiled, amused. He remembered listening to Jaehyun ranting about Soojung and how she always scolded him like he was a five-year-old. It was endearing. She didn’t show her affection with sweet words but always so ready to fight with people who messed up with her brother.

“Nuna, it’s fine,” he said. “Considering our circumstances, I think it’s completely understandable why we didn’t spend some time together.”

“Yeah, and that lead to his reckless behavior.”

Taeyong wanted to ignore her remark but Soojung was looking at him with her knowing eyes and there was no way for him to escape. She was never the one to invade someone’s personal space. She was very considerate but if she felt the need to address something, she was never the one who shied away from confrontation.

“Taeyongie, you know that I’m never biased, right?” she said, her voice firm. “Jaehyun is my brother but if he does something wrong, I won’t defend his action.”

Taeyong’s breath caught in his throat. She knew that and it was one of her best traits that he admired about her. That was why it was always so easy to confide with her and trusted her.

“Nuna—“

“Have you talked with Jaehyunie?”

Taeyong shook his head. Soojung smiled fondly at him as she reached out to ruffle his hair.

“It’s okay if you’re not ready,” she comforted him with her gentle touch. “Taeyongie, you know that you can’t believe everything you see in the media, right?”

“Yeah, I know.”

“That’s good. I know that you’re not used to the public’s attention but now that you’ve been exposed, you’ll have to learn to handle the media. But don’t worry too much about it. Jaehyun won’t let anyone harm you.”

Taeyong could only nod in reply. He was still hurt by the scandal that broke out but put all of those aside, he didn’t doubt her. Both of them knew to what extent the things Jaehyun would do for him. At least when they were still together, Jaehyun was the protective type and everyone knew better than to mess with him.

They dropped the subject after that and proceed to catch up with each other. Soojung stayed at the house for the next two hours. Before she left, she promised to visit him frequently.

That night, Taeyong didn’t hear Jaehyun came home despite staying up late. He also didn’t see him the next morning when he was about to go to work. No traces of Jaehyun in the house. Ignoring the pang he felt in his chest, he walked out of the house and went to work.

* * *


	8. coming home to you

* * *

It was the very first time Taeyong regretted coming to work. The scandal had spread out and he knew that it was inevitable for him to become the talk of the school. His co-workers and his students tried not to blatantly look at him. They tried being discreet but it was futile because Taeyong could feel their curious stare at the back of his head. He went on with his day as if nothing happened and during lunch, he was relieved and thankful when Yangyang, Hendery, and Yukhei came to his office and brought him food. They might be cheeky and playful but they could be very considerate and sweet sometimes. Taeyong felt so much better after that and the rest of the day went smoothly.

When the school was over, he couldn’t help but sigh in relief. It was a very long day for him and all he wanted to do was going home. To his surprise, Jaehyun's car was there and that meant his husband was home, too. Not really having enough time to overthink, Taeyong went inside and he frowned when he saw Jaehyun walking down the stairs while carrying a small bag.

Jaehyun halted his steps when he noticed Taeyong's presence. His eyes widened in surprise.

“Taeyong, you’re home.”

Taeyong simply nodded. He glanced at Jaehyun’s bag again and the latter caught the hint right away.

“I’m going to Japan for the next two days on a business trip.” He explained. “I was about to text you but you came home just in time.”

Taeyong nodded again, not knowing what to do or say. They stood there in awkward silence for a few moments before Jaehyun finally took a step forward to Taeyong. He stopped before him, keeping a safe distance between them, and up-close Taeyong could see the longing in his eyes but he still refused to knowledge it.

“I’ve called Doyoung and Ten and asked them to accompany you tonight. They’re already on the way here.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“I know. But I don’t want you to be alone,” Jaehyun gently said, looking down at him with a small smile. Taeyong swallowed and looked away. It would be so much easier if Jaehyun just ignored him or pretended as if nothing happened before. If the latter continued being like this—genuine and ever so sweetly concerned about him—Taeyong wouldn’t last long. 

“Okay then.”

“I’ll see you in two days?”

“Yeah.”

A silence.

“Taeyong,” he started, sounding hesitant but he held Taeyong’s gaze as he continued, “I’m sorry.”

The sudden apology threw Taeyong off guard. He wasn’t prepared for this talk and suddenly he felt that the distance between them was too close. He took a step back, not aware that his action made Jaehyun’s heart instantly dropped.

“Let’s never talk about this again,” he said, holding his gaze though he felt like running away. Everything inside him was throbbing. “There’s nothing to be sorry about. I’ve told you that you’re free to be with whoever you want. This marriage is just a deal—“

“Stop saying that!” Jaehyun snapped, startling Taeyong who immediately took another step back. There was anger and frustration in his eyes as he spoke. “It’s never just a deal to me, Taeyong. I asked you to try again with me during rehearsal. It wasn’t just for a show. It was real.”

“Do you expect me to believe you after what you did to me?” he snapped back. Fury boiled up inside him and spewed out. “You broke up with me, Jaehyun. You left me first. Do you ever think how hard it was for me to look at you walking out of our relationship so easily as if it was nothing to you?”

Taeyong’s nostrils flared up and his breath quickened. Just like that, the carefully maintained fighter façade crumbled. He felt like someone just stabbed his heart with a dull knife, opening the gaping, bloody, old wound that still rubbed him raw until now. He was so determined to ignore everything but Jaehyun started the confrontation and he couldn't help himself from blurting out what he'd been holding in. He was hurt and in pain. It was hard for him to deal with.

Taeyong spent years trying to forget and stop getting used to his presence. He tried so hard to accept the fact that there was no Jaehyun who would run his fingers through his hair. No Jaehyun who he could share a secret joke with—jokes only the two of them understood. No Jaehyun who would be the first person he saw in the morning when he woke up and before he went to sleep. No Jaehyun he could share a laugh with—laugh so hard until their stomach would ache. No Jaehyun who would fight with him about whose turn it was to pay for their ice cream dates.

The painful memory hit him like a physical blow, sending a sharp pain through his chest. His breath became painfully blocked. He felt like he was choking. His throat burned with fresh tears and he balled his hands up into a fist, preventing himself from breaking down in front of Jaehyun.

“It was never easy,” Jaehyun said after a moment of silence. His voice was hoarse. He sounded a little rough and strained as he continued, “It was never easy to leave you, Taeyong. It killed me to do that.”

Jaehyun sucked in a shaky breath, the hurt and pain in his eyes were visible and bright as the day. There was so much regret, anger, and guilt in the look he gave him.

Taeayong tightened his jaw, trying not to let himself crumble. Not now and not in front of him.

“I know that it was my fault,” Jaehyun whispered, his face twisted with intense pain. “I'm so sorry for hurting you. What I did to you was unfair and I understand that you could never forgive me. I've never stopped hating myself for what I did to you. But please trust me when I say this. I would never cheat on you, Taeyong. I wouldn't dream of it. This marriage was never a deal to me. I respect this union and I genuinely wanted us to try again because I love you. I’ve never stopped loving you. But I understand that you didn't want me. I should've known my place. I'm so, so sorry for hurting you again. I'm sorry all I could do is giving you pain. I'm sorry.”

There was an open, raw honesty in his eyes and Taeyong didn't know what to think or do right now. He exhaled roughly, overwhelmed by the sudden confession.

A tensed and heavy silence that followed was unbearable. Jaehyun brought his hand to Taeyong’s face and it looked like he wanted to touch him but had caught himself and lowered his hand again. Taeyong’s breath hitched as he saw tears escaped Jaehyun’s eyes.

“I’m sorry, angel.” he whispered and walked away.

Taeyong stood frozen, staring at his back through his blurry vision. Everything was hurt and suffocating. His heart was beating faster than normal and there was something clogged in his throat. He felt like throwing up as his eyes prickling with tears. He watched as Jaehyun left with the numbness slowly spreading through him.

Taeyong had loved him before. He’d loved him when they made love, the next morning when he woke up in his arms. Or at least he’d been committed to loving him—never stopped loving him—but now he didn’t know what to do.

He didn’t remember how he managed to walk back to his room but the next thing he knew, he’d cried his eyes out with a bleeding heart.

* * *

That was how Doyoung and Ten found Taeyong an hour later; curling up into a ball on his bed with tears rolling down his cheeks. They immediately rushed to their best friend and the moment they called his name, Taeyong broke down again.

Taeyong didn't remember when was the last time he cried like this. Tears were flooding out and there was nothing he could do to stop it. He sobbed and let out all those pent-up emotions he'd been holding in after he met Jaehyun again—after everything that happened the past few weeks. He'd never wanted to feel like this again but Jaehyun's words rang clear in his ears, over and over again and it was the only thing he could think of.

Doyoung and Ten tried to help him breathing and it took him a few minutes to calm down. It took another few minutes for him to regain his senses back and slowly aware of his surroundings. When he finally stopped crying, Doyoung and Ten were already close to tears. The look on their face reminded Taeyong of the days where he just broke up with Jaehyun and his friends spent weeks worrying about him.

Taeyong felt bad now. He never wanted to make them worried about him but he didn’t expect his confrontation with Jaehyun took a turn into a sudden confession. Part of him wanted to forget everything but the other part, the one that was so much stronger, recognized the truth behind his words.

_Jaehyun still loves me. Jaehyun still wants me. _

But the problem was, though he knew that Jaehyun didn’t lie, he still couldn’t bring himself to believe that what the latter said was real.

“Taeyongie,” Ten’s voice was heavily laced with worry. “Are you okay?”

Taeyong blinked at the latter. “Tennie.”

“Yes, honey. It’s me. I’m here.”

“Taeyongie, do you need something?”

Taeyong turned to Doyoung. His normally straight face was turned into a frown, his eyes were red with unshed tears. At times like this Taeyong was reminded that despite his love and hate relationship with Doyoung, the latter was very sensitive.

“Doyo,” he rasped, reaching out to hold Doyoung's hand. The latter grip instantly tightened. 

“We're here, Taeyongie. You can talk to us.”

Taeyong took a deep breath and proceed to tell them everything that happened in the past few days. They listened tentatively, never once interrupting him. By the time he’d finished talking, he was mentally tired as if he was experiencing it all over again.

“That’s…” Ten started, seemingly in a daze. “A lot to take in.”

Taeyong hummed. “Yeah.”

“So, Jaehyun still loves you,” Doyoung said and Taeyong should’ve known that his friend didn’t beat around the bush and always straight to the point.

“That’s what he said,” he replied. “I don’t know if I can believe him or not.”

“Taeyong, you know we love you, right? Whatever happens, you know that we’ll always be by your side. But Jaehyun is our friend too and we know him. I think this is just a huge misunderstanding and you guys need to talk to solve the problem.”

Taeyong’s throat closed as he listened to Ten. He knew that his friend was right. He was never one to deny the truth, though sometimes it took him time to accept it. He wanted to talk to Jaehyun but the problem was, he didn’t allow himself to do that. He knew that Jaehyun had been trying to talk to him since the news broke out but he didn’t give him a chance. It was him who avoided the problem because it was his coping mechanisms. He didn’t trust himself enough to talk about the things he’d been holding in for so long with Jaehyun—the only person who could turn him into a mess. If he had to talk to Jaehyun, he had to make sure that his head was clear enough to think straight.

“Taeyongie, things might not end well between you and Jaehyun but maybe this is a chance for you and him to fix things,” Ten gently said. “It’s up to you if you want to give him another chance or not. Just… talk to him first. Ask him anything you want to know and let him explain.”

Taeyong exhaled sharply. “But Seulgi…”

“Doesn’t matter at all,” Doyoung cut him off before he could finish his sentence. “I called Yuta as soon as the news broke out. He said Seulgi is just a business partner. Johnny can guarantee that. You know Johnny never lies to you, right?”

“Yeah, I know.”

Now that the shock and the adrenaline from his last conversation with Jaehyun had burned away, he began to calm down and seriously think about what had happened. It still hurt him to think about Jaehyun being intimate with another woman—a gorgeous woman who looked perfect standing right next to him. He remembered Jaehyun trying to explain things to him when they were still in Jeju. He thought about the conversation he had with Soojung and began to think that it might be a misunderstanding after all.

Doyoung was right. Johnny never once lied to him and Taeyong trusted the man with his life. Maybe he should talk to Jaehyun after the latter came back from Japan and let him explain everything. And if he was ready, he would also let him talk about what he said earlier today. But for now, he had enough of break-down.

“I’ll think about it,” he said after a moment of silence. “Now I’m hungry and I want to eat something. Can you cook for me?”

Doyoung let out a snort.

“You’ll get food but don’t think I forgot that you left us on read.”

Taeyong whined, turning to Ten pleadingly. The latter shook his head.

“You made us very worried. Doyoung was so ready to burn down the house when you didn’t accept our calls. Luckily Yuta was there to stop him.”

“Oh?” Taeyong playfully wriggled his eyebrows. “So you spent some time with Yuta? Just the two of you? That’s progress!”

Doyoung glared at his best friend.

“Nice try. But I won't fall for it. Now go and freshen up. Meet us downstairs in five.”

Taeyong shook his head, clutching the pillow against his chest. “No. I don’t want to go downstairs. I don’t want to listen to your rants.”

Ten slapped Taeyong’s ass, earning a surprised yelp from the latter.

“Get your flat ass out of the bed, Taeyong. _Now_.”

Taeyong grumbled but did as he’s told. His friends could be annoying if they wanted.

“Go downstairs in five.”

“_Yes, moms.” _

* * *

“Jung Jaehyun, you little shit!”

Jaehyun looked up and he was genuinely surprised to see Soojung barged into his office. He felt dejavu. This happened before but this time he really didn’t expect to see his sister.

“Nuna, what are you doing here?”

Soojung threw him a death glare. “Don't play dumb with me, brother.”

“I didn’t expect you to come here. Weren’t you supposed to be in China right now?”

Soojung plopped down on the chair. She looked pissed as she looked at him. “Do you think I can work knowing that my brother has been torturing himself the past few days?”

Jaehyun frowned. “Yerim told you, didn’t she?”

Soojung didn’t need to answer the question for Jaehyun to know. It was obvious. He knew that his sister checked on him from time to time through Yerim. To be honest, he should’ve known that Soojung would come and find him if she knew that something wasn’t right. But it completely slipped his mind because he’d been working non-stop and he really didn’t have time to think of anything else outside work.

“I thought we had an agreement, Jaehyun. You promised me that you’ll never skip meals again.”

Jaehyun let out a sigh. It was his fault. He knew that. After his last conversation with Taeyong, he’s barely functioning. He felt numb and the only thing he could do to distract his mind was working. Work, and work, and more work. It helped him take his mind off his problem but by doing that, he’d repeated the old habit. He tended to forget everything when he was working. He’d been skipping meals and only slept for two to three hours. He avoided looking in the mirror because he knew he looked awfully wrecked. His eye bags were dark, his cheeks were sunken, and his face was as pale as the sheet.

He felt terrible but he also wouldn’t allow himself to relax. If he wasn’t working, his mind would instantly drift to Taeyong. He missed him. He wanted him. He loved him. But there was nothing he could do because now he’s convinced that his husband hated him. It stung whenever he thought about it. He'd been trying to prepare himself how to live with that but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t. 

“I'm sorry,” he said, genuinely feeling bad for making Soojung worried. “I got carried away with my work.”

“I didn’t know what exactly happened with you and Taeyong but I know you guy haven’t made up yet. But you know running away won’t solve any problem.”

Jaehyun tried not to wince. “You knew?”

“Knew what?” she challenged. “That you’re planning to extend your stay here? You can fool anyone but me. I know you wanted to avoid Taeyong.”

“I just need some time.”

“Are you seriously going to make Taeyongie wait for you to come home? You’re supposed to go back today!”

Jaehyun looked away. “It’s not like he will be waiting for me. He hates me, Nuna. I fucked up.”

Soojung let out a sound of disbelief, pinching the bridge of her nose impatiently.

“You might be not aware that mother told Yerim to update Taeyong about your schedules. He knows everything, including you who have been skipping meals for days. Yerim told me that Taeyong called today asking when you will get home. He’s worried, you idiot.”

Jaehyun turned to Soojung so fast he felt as if he got a whiplash. His eyes widened, completely perplexed.

“He called?”

“Yes,” she replied impatiently. “Of course you didn’t know that because you turned off your phone.”

“But…” Jaehyun closed his mouth again, not knowing what to say. He’s confused, but he couldn’t deny that he felt a little bit happy because Taeyong called and asked about him. That was a good sign.

He purposely turned off his phone because he knew that he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from calling Taeyong. He didn’t want to disturb him even more. It was stupid of him to bare his feelings without explaining himself further but the timing wasn’t right. And Taeyong was supposed to hate him anyway so he didn’t think of the possibility that his husband might ask about his well-being.

“Go home and talk to him, Jaehyun,” Soojung said after a loaded moment of silence. Her voice softened. “If you think that you fucked things up, then go and fix them. Do I have to remind you about your ultimatum? You said you wanted to win his heart back. If you do, then what are you doing here? You should be at home and be with your husband.”

Soojung's words felt like a slap on the face and for a moment Jaehyun was flooded with shame. He was the one who wanted Taeyong back. He wanted to redeem himself but he was so quick to give up. Taeyong didn’t deserve any of that and he should’ve tried harder. After all, it was him who started everything.

“God, I feel like an asshole now,” Jaehyun groaned, burying his face on his hands. “I don’t deserve him.”

“You don’t if you keep being stupid,” Soojung retorted without a real heat. “Go home, Jaehyunie. Someone is waiting for you at home.”

_Home. Taeyong. _

Jaehyun couldn’t help the warmth that slowly spreading through him. Just thinking about someone—_Taeyong_—waiting for him at home made him feel giddy all over again. There was also an odd feeling in his chest; the one that felt suspiciously like relief and also something more—like he’s wanted.

His house never felt like home. It was just a place for him to stay and the furniture was just for decoration. Sometimes he hated the way it felt. The way it smelled. The way it seemed to settle on his skin like a coating he could never completely wash off. Before this, the thought of coming home didn’t give him any satisfaction because he knew he would come home to an empty and dull space.

Now was different, he let the thought slowly sinking in. Taeyong was there now. Taeyong was waiting for him. Taeyong was home. A place where Jaehyun came back to. A place he desperately wanted to belong. It had always been like that and always would.

“Now that you have come back to your senses,” Soojung said, pulling Jaehyun out of his reverie. She had a gentle smile on her face as she pushed the plane ticket toward her brother. “Go home, brother.”

Jaehyun had never moved so fast in his entire life. 

* * *


	9. looking backward, looking forward

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello, i'm sorry for the late update. hope you guys like this one. happy reading! <3

* * *

Taeyong got home after a very long day at work and for once he was grateful that he had to stay back at school a little longer to help other teachers preparing for the upcoming exam. The front door was locked and he fumbled with his keys. The lights were on because he never turned it off. It was bad enough to come home to an empty house the past few days and it would dampen his mood if the house was dark as well. The brightness of the room made him felt slightly better.

Yerim had called him this morning, telling him that Jaehyun would be home before dinner—which meant the latter would arrive any minute now. Taeyong had successfully distracted his mind because he had a lot to do at work but now that he was home, doing nothing, his mind had too much free time to wander. He'd been fluctuating between anticipation and anxiety so intense that overwhelmed him. He'd decided that he would talk to Jaehyun if the latter wanted but it still didn't stop the dread that slowly setting at the pit of his stomach. He couldn't predict what would happen and it made him more anxious.

Taeyong wasn't hungry but he took out a plate of _kimchi_ stir-fry he made yesterday and re-heat it up. When it was ready, he brought it out to the living room and sat down on the couch, mindlessly watching a new drama he'd no absolutely idea about. He ate his food without really tasting it. When he was done, it was already past dinner time but there was still no sight of Jaehyun.

Not bothering to go back to his room to change his clothes, he took off his work attire, leaving him in his brief and white plain t-shirt. He laid on his back on the couch and closed his eyes, expecting sleep to take him. But after a few minutes, he found himself more alert, anxiety creeping back into his stomach. The house was too quiet and too big without Jaehyun. He didn't know how long time had passed and he was starting to get sleepy. He almost fell asleep when the sound of the engine startling him. He abruptly sat up as his heart thudded, stuttered, and then picked up again in double time as he heard loud footsteps approaching. And then the door was swung open. He didn't have enough time to compose himself because suddenly Jaehyun was there, only a few feet away from him. His breath caught in his throat as he took in the sight of him. Yerim was right about Jaehyun overworking himself because the evidence was clear. The latter looked like a mess. Like he hadn't slept in days and his eyes were red. 

Taeyong's heart rate sped up and his palms grew damp. The sight of him spurred a reaction so abrupt it was like a physical blow for him.

“Taeyong,” was the only thing Jaehyun said.

Taeyong swallowed the big lump down his throat.

“Jaehyun.”

A silence.

Jaehyun didn't move from his spot and neither did Taeyong. The air between them was thick but this time, it wasn't suffocating. Taeyong could tell that it was time for them to finally talk. Really talk to each other because the past few days had been hell to the two of them. He was tired and he couldn't go another day pretending everything was fine when it wasn't.

“Can we talk?”

Taeyong swallowed, nodding slowly. “Yes.”

The situation was a little bit unconventional because the space between them was a little big to have a proper conversation. Taeyong was sitting on the couch with his plain clothes meanwhile Jaehyun was standing a few feet away from him and still in his expensive three-piece suit.

But it was a safe distance. None of them dared to take a step forward, knowing that everything was still fragile and uncertain between them. Wrong move and it would ruin everything.

“What you see in the news is not true,” Jaehyun started, his voice steady and he held Taeyong's gaze as he spoke. “I met Seulgi to discuss our business. Taeyong, I want you to know that I would never, ever cheat on you. You know I won't do that to you and our marriage.”

Taeyong knew that. He'd known that since the beginning but it still took him some time to admit it—he's blinded by the ugly monster he was feeling. Now that he could think with a clear head, he knew it would be unfair for Jaehyun if he kept making the latter felt bad about something he didn’t do.

“I know,” he choked out.

Jaehyun's eyes widened slightly. “You believe me?”

“Yes.”

And it was true. He believed what he said. He could see the honesty in his eyes—even after years, he's surprised he still had the ability to do that.

“Can I ask you a question?”

Jaehyun nodded and the look on his face told Taeyong that the latter knew exactly what he wanted to ask.

“Jaehyun, did you really break up with me because you're bored with me and tired of us?”

It had been years and to finally have enough courage to ask it out loud still stung but at the same time, Taeyong was relieved because he knew it was the time for him to let go. He could never move on if he still held on to the past.

Jaehyun looked at him and for the first time since they met again, there were so many emotions in his eyes. The wall of control that he had carefully maintained dropped from his face. His soul was bared and he didn't hide anything. There was regret, guilt, pain, and..._love_.

Taeyong could feel the back of his throat burned as he looked back at him.

“No, it wasn't like that,” Jaehyun said, his voice was gravelly and Taeyong could practically feel his pain as if it was his own. “I already knew that I was going to marry Joohyun when I met you. But I still couldn't help myself but fell in love with you. I was very selfish and I wanted you though I know that our relationship wouldn't last. For a while I forgot about my responsibility until I got a phone call from my mother telling me that she'd set up a dinner date for me and Joohyun. That night, I lied to you. I told you I was going to meet my mother when in reality I met Joohyun. We didn't talk that much. All I could think about was you. I just wanted to be with you but deep down I knew that I couldn't. I was tied with something that I couldn't escape. I wanted to tell you the truth because you deserved to know but I couldn't bring myself to do it. Because that meant I would lose you, though no matter what would I do, I'd still lose you anyway. But I just couldn't. That was why I started to distance myself. I thought it would be easier for me to leave if I got used being away from you. But I was wrong. Leaving you was the hardest thing I had to do. I'm sorry for not telling you the truth. I'm sorry for leaving you. I'm sorry for causing so much pain for you. I'm sorry, Taeyong.”

An aching pain stabbed Taeyong in the heart. The hidden truth made his eyes stung with fresh tears. It was just too much to take in and he wasn't really prepared for it. The look in his eyes was painful to witness. The raw agony was like an open wound. At that moment, Taeyong was struck with a realization that he wasn't the only one who was in pain. Both of them shared the same pain. He was just too blinded with his own feeling and failed to see that Jaehyun was as miserable as him.

All this time he thought that Jaehyun wasn't happy with him and their relationship, not knowing that the latter had to carry such a big responsibility on his shoulders. What Jaehyun did to Taeyong was unfair but it wasn't like the latter had much of a choice. Now he could finally see that.

Taeyong's chest expanded on a deep breath, his body responding to the proximity of his. Even though Jaehyun stood several feet away, he could feel the heady attraction, the magnetic pull of being near the other half of his soul. It'd been that way with them from the very first meeting, both of them inexorably drawn together. Taeyong was good at pushing it away and he failed to see that Jaehyun was doing the same.

Bile rose in Taeyong's throat but he forced down a sob. “I thought you didn't love me anymore.”

“God, Taeyong, I loved you so much it physically hurt me,” Jaehyun said, his voice was thick with brutal honesty. “I've always loved you. I've never stopped loving you and I will always love you.”

Taeyong couldn't contain a sob that broke in his voice.

“I don't know what to say,”

“You don't have to say it back,” he said, his voice throbbed with emotions. “Taeyong, can you give me another chance? I can't promise you that everything will be okay but I can promise you that I'll try for us. I meant what I said before.”

Taeyong knew that he hadn't been honest with himself and Jaehyun's confession was the final straw for him. The heartache, pain, and bad memories were still fresh and vivid in his mind but there was also the truth he'd been denying. As he looked at the man before him, he could feel the spark inside him ignited. He could finally admit to himself that he wanted him more than he hated him. He needed him close, so close they couldn't possibly be separated.

“Ask me, Jaehyun,” he whispered, his eyes brimming with tears. “Ask me again and this time, let me answer you.” 

Jaehyun's eyes stung with fresh tears as he said the words he'd been dying to say to him.

“Taeyong,” he choked out. “Will you try again with me? Will you give us another chance?" 

“Yes,” he said, his voice was barely a whisper but loud enough for Jaehyun to hear it. “Yes to everything, Jaehyun.”

Jaehyun finally took a step toward Taeyong.

One, two, three.

He stopped for a heartbeat or two before taking another one. And another and another again. He held out his hand for Taeyong and he felt settled when the latter met him halfway. He crouched down and emotions quickly flooded him as he felt him close. Warmth slowly spreading through him.

A loud sob burst through Taeyong’s lips.

“You're here,” he said.

Jaehyun gripped his hand firmly. “I'm here.”

Jaehyun was here and it felt as if Taeyong had been waiting for him, for this moment to come. There was no mistaking the love and hope in his eyes and now Taeyong could tell that it was real. It tightened his throat to see it, to feel it with every fiber of his being. He gripped Jaehyun's hand fiercely and felt a rush of relief flooded him as his heart began to pound furiously. Something inside him felt alive again after a very long time. It felt so right that Taeyong started to cry harder. Jaehyun was quick to climb on the couch and both of them fell on their back, holding each other. Taeyong wrapped his arms around Jaehyun's neck, sobbing into his throat.

“I'm sorry, love,” Jaehyun whispered in his ears, holding him so tight that he almost squeezed the air out of his lungs. He nuzzled his hair, whispering the apology over and over again. Taeyong’s throat tightened at the endearment. This time, he did not resist the urge to move closer to him. He held nothing back and let Jaehyun hold him like how he’s always wanted it.

“Jaehyun.”

Taeyong whispered his name. He couldn't think of anything else but the fact that they were here. _Finally_.

“Taeyong.”

Jaehyun whispered his name back and his voice was the only thing that flooded his ears.

“You're here.”

“I'm here, love.” he reassured him. “I’m here.” 

Things wouldn't be magically fixed after this. It didn't change anything but at least Taeyong knew what he wanted now. He knew that he wanted this and he's willing to give it a try. And he knew that he'd made the right choice.

They would try again. Whatever that meant from now on. And this time, they would make it right. 

* * *


	10. eyes locked, hands locked, heart to heart

* * *

Jaehyun looked at Taeyong and almost couldn't believe that the latter was real. The moment was real. Finally, he was able to hold Taeyong in his arms again—in the way he'd always dreamed of. He brushed his hair from his eyes and smile down at him, feeling his stomach flipped at the sight of him. His heart felt full to bursting. He was rattled, but more in a good way than bad.

Jaehyun leaned down and kissed him with his heart fluttering like wings and his body molding to his. His hold on him tightened. Ever since they'd kissed the other night, he'd been able to feel the familiar warm and gooey feeling again after what seemed like forever. It felt so good to feel that and he wanted to chase those feelings. He felt as if the burden on his shoulders had finally disappeared and Taeyong had always been the person who could set him free. He'd once again unlocked him.

When their lips parted, Jaehyun kept Taeyong close. He was done letting him go, pretending, or otherwise putting distance between them. He still needed to be sure he would never hurt him again. He needed to be one hundred percent certain he was the right man for him. But he wasn't going to lose Taeyong in the process of his own introspection. Not a chance. Having him in his arms made him felt like he was the luckiest man.

“I'm so sorry,” Jaehyun said, feeling emotionally raw after the long day they'd had. He caught Taeyong's wrist and pulled his hand down to press flat over his heart. “I'm sorry about everything, love.”

Taeyong could feel the steady rhythm of Jaehyun's heartbeat and instantly felt a flutter happiness inside his chest.

“I'm sorry, too,” Taeyong whispered, his hand fisted in the cotton of his t-shirt. “For everything.”

“This time, let's do this right,” Jaehyun said, framing his face between his hands as his eyes boring into his. “No more secrets between us. No more ghosts from the past. From now on, the only two people allowed in this relationship are you and me. You feel me?”

Taeyong nodded, enjoying the warmth of the flames washing over him. “Yes, Jaehyun. I feel you.”

Jaehyun looked down at Taeyong and he was struck because the latter looked so beautiful beneath him and he fell in love all over again.

“Love,” Jaehyun said hoarsely. “Can we—I want—“

“Yes,” Taeyong replied, arching against him to show his excitement. To let him know that he needed him just as much. “Yes, please.”

Jaehyun pushed Taeyong on his back, spreading his legs apart. He settled between his thighs, finally at home. Their bodies touched, bare skin against bare skin. Jaehyun kissed his way back down Taeyong's tummy. His skin was so hot and soft. He remembered the way Taeyong felt, the way his body fit so perfectly to his, just like how it felt the other night. He could tell that his body, so long fit, soft, and strong, was already firming up. He kissed all the way down to the center of his arousal.

“_Jaehyun_.”

The little gasp that left Taeyong's lips sent tingles down Jaehyun's spine. He took him in his mouth, swirling his tongue, drawing patterns along his skin while his hands eased his thighs apart, allowing him to settle more firmly between his legs. Taeyong's thighs were firm and so slender it made his heart pound. He wasn't really muscular but Taeyong was smaller than him. He seemed fragile but he knew that there was an infinite strength within him. But he was still a little afraid he might hurt him.

Jaehyun knew his cock was leaking in anticipation but he was determined to do the right thing by him. He wanted to make sure that he wouldn't harm him if they made love. Taeyong let out another gasp, arching into his mouth, wanting more. And the latter got more as Jaehyun slid his finger inside him while sucking on his cock. He worked him open, feeling his muscles tightened as Taeyong gripped his hair, clenching helplessly around his fingers.

Taeyong moaned louder as Jaehyun thrusting his fingers upward, relentlessly hitting the sweet spot inside him over and over again. His body trembled in delight. He whimpered, writhing underneath Jaehyun's touch.

“Jaehyunie, please,” he sobbed. His body was coated in sweat, barely able to breathe. “Baby, I want to come with you inside me.”

Taeyong made whimpering, needy sounds, and Jaehyun growled. He let go of Taeyong's cock and pulled his fingers out as he climbed over him again. He couldn't help but watch the helpless pleasure glazing in Taeyong's eyes and knew that it was different than what they had during their honeymoon night. He loved that look. He loved that he could make him as mindless as the latter could be. He felt every shudder, heard every moan and whimper as music. His body was raging at him and his mind was filled with an all-consuming love for Taeyong.

Jaehyun groaned as Taeyong circled his thick erection with his fingers, giving it a few quick strokes before positioning him into his entrance. Taeyong lifted his hips as he took the first inch of Jaehyun inside him. Jaehyun let out another growl as he grabbed Taeyong's butt cheeks and squeezed them, hard enough to make his husband let out a throaty moan. Holding his hip with another hand, he thrust, sinking deep into Taeyong, moaning with pleasure as his husband closed tight around him.

“God, Taeyong. You’re amazing, love.” Jaehyun groaned with masculine pleasure and Taeyong's toes curled. His arms wrapped around Jaehyun's neck and his legs caged him, holding him tight. At that moment, time and everything else in the world ceased to matter. Only the two of them existed in their own world. 

“Take me, Jaehyun,” Taeyong whispered, voice thick with emotions. “Show me whom I belong to.” 

Jaehyun looked down at Taeyong, his eyes glazed with passion as he thrust deep, rolling his hips upward. He leaned down to capture Taeyong's lips with his, kissing him until all he could think about was connecting with the latter in a way he's missed so much.

It felt like home—like this was where he'd always belonged. Inside him, skin to skin, his heart beating a fast rhythm as he moved within him. It felt amazing to have Taeyong's hands roaming down his arms, his nails raking over his skin as he lifted and thrust inside him to feel the way he tightened around him. Everything was familiar, but also like it was the first time he'd ever made love to this man beneath him. Jaehyun kissed Taeyong and the emotions he felt were more than he could handle. He wasn't an emotional kind of guy, but this was Taeyong and he wanted to give him everything the latter deserved.

“I've missed you so much, love,” he coked out as he pulled away, tears pricked his eyes.

Taeyong blinked back at him, tears already rolling down his cheeks. “I've missed you too. Every part of you.”

Jaehyun pressed his nose against Taeyong's cheek as he began to move in measured, deliberate thrusts. Taeyong's palm pressed flat to his back. Jaehyun started out with tenderness but he grew rougher and faster as the desire he felt for his husband overwhelming his control. Holding Taeyong's hips, he slammed deep inside him. Taeyong threw his head back, moaning shamelessly. The latter clenched around him and Jaehyun groaned, deep in his chest.

“Love, you're driving me crazy.”

“More,” Taeyong gasped, digging his nails into his back. He rocked his hips to meet his tireless and relentless thrust. “More, Jaehyun. Please.”

Jaehyun pulled out and thrust back into him with a powerful strength that made him arch his back, clenching eagearly around him. Taeyong couldn't hold back a moan of delight as Jaehyun touched the sensitive spot inside him.

“_There_!” he cried out. “Jaehyun, there! Please. Please—“ 

“Ssh,” Jaehyun leaned down and gently kissed his jaw, quickening his pace. “I've got you, love.”

Taeyong moaned as Jaehyun kept gliding in and out. Every inch of his skin burned and his chest was so tight with longing and emotion that it was hard to breathe.

“Come inside me,” Taeyong begged and Jaehyun's hips stuttered at his words. The latter let out an animalistic growl, sending a sharp jolt through his body.

Taeyong cupped Jaehyun's jaw, staring at his intense gaze. He repeated his word in a whisper, “Come inside me, Jaehyun. Please.”

Jaehyun cursed and shoved one hand beneath his hips, lifting him into his thrusts. It didn't take long for pleasure to ripple through Jaehyun's entire body, pushing him to the brink of orgasm. He buried his face in Taeyong's neck and held him tightly as he came deep inside him with a low growl of his name, spilling into him.

* * *

Taeyong woke up with Jaehyun's lips pressed against his shoulder, trailing small kisses on his skin. His husband was spooning him and he felt too comfortable to move. Jaehyun’s arms wound around him and his hand moved to his flat stomach, barely touching it as he lightly tracing patterns on his skin. He touched Taeyong ever so slowly, gently, and carefully as if he was afraid he might break him. Taeyong could feel his heart sped up as Jaehyun pressed his broad chest against his back. His lips were on his neck, inhaling his scent deeply.

“Good morning, love,” Jaehyun's rough and deep voice greeted him, flooding his senses.

Taeyong opened his eyes, letting out a happy sigh. “Good morning, baby.”

“How are you feeling?”

Taeyong hummed, sinking deeper into the warm and familiar embrace. “Good.”

It felt so much like falling back into the old habit. Taeyong loved mornings like this. He loved waking up feeling giddy and happy with Jaehyun's arms around him. He loved the warm and light touches of his fingers. He loved being so close to him, feeling every inch of his body pressed firmly against his. And he loved feeling his chest moved with every breath that he'd taken, making him feel connected with him.

Jaehyun ran his fingertips over Taeyong's palm. The simple yet intimate and familiar gesture made his heart swelled.

“Let's do some grocery shopping today,” Jaehyun suggested. “We need to buy some supply.”

“That's a good idea,” Taeyong agreed. “We can cook together."

Jaehyun's arms around Taeyong's waist tightened.

“Just like the old time?”

“Just like the old time.”

It was so easy, so natural, and so familiar that it didn't feel awkward at all. It felt as if they'd been waiting for this moment to happen and now that it did, they let go of the past and was ready to live in the present and face the future.

Taeyong slowly turned around to face Jaehyun. They were so close, their nose almost touched and they could feel each other's breath. He unthinkingly reached out and lightly touched Jaehyun's jaw. When he looked at his husband, his eyes were wide open, watching him.

Jaehyun’s smile turned up the corners of his lips. “Hey,”

Taeyong chuckled. “Hey.”

Jaehyun had seen a lot of beautiful men and women before but Taeyong was still the one who could spark the fire inside him. His skin glowed and his complexion was flawless. As the gentle rays of the morning sun hit his skin, it was as if a magical aura enveloped him. He was so beautiful that it hurt to see him sometimes.

“You're beautiful.”

Taeyong's eyes crinkled as he blushed. But a moment later his expression shifted and there was mirth dancing in his eyes.

“Yeah?” he breathed out, pressing his toes into Jaehyun's calves. “You think so?”

Jaehyun hissed. “Angel, don't tease me.”

“Oh? What would you do to me, Jaehyunie? Are you going to punish me?”

Taeyong's long and slender fingers walked their way down Jaehyun's chest and stomach. Jaehyun sucked in another harsh breath and grabbed his hand, stopping his movement.

“Love, don't.”

Taeyong laughed but Jaehyun knew exactly how to take revenge. He leaned forward and kissed him, catching him off guard. He didn’t let his husband take a breath as he kissed him hard and long and deep, linking their hands together as he pushed him to his back and climbed on top of him. Taeyong instinctively opened his legs wider, welcoming the warm weight between his thighs.

“You want me.”

Taeyong smiled. “I've always wanted you.”

And it was the truth. Deep down, Taeyong knew that there wasn't a time when he didn't want him. Wrapping his arms around Jaehyun's neck, Taeyong pulled him down and kissed him. He let himself sink into the kiss and into him.

“Now, Jaehyun,” he said against his lips.

Jaehyun let out a gasp.

“No, not yet, love. I have to prepare you first.”

Taeyong rolled down his hips, showing Jaehyun just how open and ready he was.

Jaehyun groaned. “Yes, yes, okay. God, you're unbelievable.”

Taeyong laughed but it soon turned into a gasp when Jaehyun slid into him.

Home.

Jaehyun thrust into Taeyong slowly, searching his face for signs of distress or pain. But he found only desire and hunger. He closed his eyes as Taeyong's hands ran over his chest, his arms, everywhere his husband could reach.

Jaehyun pulled back and thrust again, deeper now, faster, groaning at the feel of him, swamping him with pleasure.

“Don't stop,” Taeyong said, soft and throaty. “Jaehyunie, don't stop.”

Taeyong made a restless circular motion with his hips and Jaehyun lost the grip of his control. His breath was coming in ragged pants as he began to move again. When Taeyong cried out, writhing beneath him, Jaehyun knew it was a plea for more and he gave it. He cupped his face, slid his fingers into his hair, and the latter beamed up at him. God, he loved his smile. He loved him.

Taeyong pressed his mouth to Jaehyun's and the latter groaned, moving in and out of him. Jaehyun leaned down and buried his face in his neck.

“I love you,” he whispered into his skin as he pulled Taeyong's hips down to meet his powerful thrusts. A few more thrusts and Taeyong came, his whole body trembling with pleasure.

Jaehyun growled his name and started coming, his hips pressed tight to Taeyong's. The latter let out a loud whimper. It made something flutter inside him, the feel of Jaehyun coming inside him.

They strained together, grasping at each other, completely lost themselves.

* * *


	11. lost in the right direction

* * *

The bright yellow sunlight poured into the room, washing over the bed where Jaehyun lay on his elbow with his head propped on one hand. Taeyong had fallen asleep again after their intense love-making. It was almost noon and Jaehyun should be up because they needed to grocery shopping. But he couldn't bring himself to leave the bed, not with Taeyong in it. He'd spent minutes quietly watching him sleep, something he'd always wanted to do again. Taeyong was so beautiful and he couldn't get enough staring at him. The latter looked so innocent in his sleep, almost childlike. He hadn't changed at all after all these years.

It still felt like a dream and Jaehyun couldn't wait to spend the rest of his life with Taeyong. He couldn't wait to wake up beside him every morning. And thinking about the possibility that they could have a child together was enough to make him want to bawl his eyes out.

Unable to resist, Jaehyun leaned down and gently nibbled Taeyong's lower lip, making his husband stirred in his sleep.

“Jaehyunie,” Taeyong whined without opening his eyes. “Stop kissing me~”

Jaehyun chuckled, darting his tongue out to lick Taeyong’s lower lips, coaxing him. “Nope. This is how I’m going to wake you up every day. Are you going to complain?”

“As if.”

Taeyong stretched beneath the covers and Jaehyun scooted closer to him, wrapping one arm around his flat stomach.

“How are you feeling?”

“My butt and waist are sore but other than that, I'm good.”

Jaehyun grimaced.

“I'm sorry, love,” he murmured sympathetically while gently rubbing his waist. “I will give you a massage to ease the pain.”

Taeyong smiled and Jaehyun could feel his chest swell with love and adoration. The latter gathered him protectively in his arms, dropping small kisses on his forehead.

“Baby,” he said, giggling. “Stop kissing me and let me go.”

Jaehyun instantly frowned. “Why?”

“Because I have to pee and take a bath, silly,”

“No~” Jaehyun whined. “I’m not done cuddling with you yet.”

Jaehyun nuzzled Taeyong’s face, giving his husband small bites all over his face. Taeyong squirmed, trying to dodge his attack. When he finally managed to push Jaehyun away, he jumped out of the bed and laughed when his husband chased him to the bathroom. Jaehyun was being clingy and just wanted to cuddle all day. It sounded appealing but the morning was already over and they hadn't eaten anything yet.

They ended up taking a bath together. Jaehyun put the toothpaste on Taeyong's toothbrush—just like how he always did in the past. As they stood at the double sink watching each other in the mirror, Jaehyun was struck by how natural it felt for them to share personal space. They didn't even try but found themselves falling into an old habit. The two of them smiled at each other, feeling so happy over trivial things like they hadn't in years. It was what they’d always wanted and now was perfect and enough.

* * *

After they were done getting dressed, they went to the nearby store. The whole ride there, never once Jaehyun let go of Taeyong’s hand. They'd spent more than enough time separated that he felt the need to always be close to him, closer than before, and as close as they could get. Things had been hard and they've both suffered. But those days were over. From now on it was just the two of them. Taeyong didn’t mind with the change of their dynamic and he looked visibly pleased. He looked more alive and happy. His eyes were sparkling and it never failed to warm Jaehyun’s heart.

They walked into the store and naturally Jaehyun grabbed a cart—it was his job when they were grocery shopping together. His eyes widened as he watched Taeyong unfurled the list of grocery items and held it up.

“Love, do we really need all of them?”

Taeyong turned to him, giving him a disapproval look.

_O-oh._

Jaehyun knew that look—it was his look when he was about to scold him.

“Yes, we do,” he said. “Our fridge and cupboard are empty. From now on we have to make sure we have enough stock of food. I'm not going to let you starve. No skipping meals again. Do that and I’ll kick you out of the bed.”

Jaehyun couldn't help the warmth that spread through him as he heard Taeyong used 'our' instead of 'your'. It made him felt giddy all over again, knowing that they were together in this.

Feeling extremely happy, Jaehyun leaned forward to kiss Taeyong's lip, catching his husband off guard.

“Okay, my love,” he said, smiling from ear to ear as he watched his husband's face turned red. “I promise not to skip meals again so don't kick me out of the bed. I can’t sleep without you in my arms.” 

Taeyong huffed, looking away to hide his red face but Jaehyun had already seen it.

“Shut up, Jaehyun,” he grumbled. “Now push the cart and listen to what I say.”

It felt the same like the old times. They would bicker over small things as they picked the stuff they needed. Taeyong wanted to pick a certain brand but Jaehyun would always oppose it. They would argue for a few minutes but in the end, Jaehyun would always be the first one to crumble. He didn’t really understand the difference between each product but he liked to tease Taeyong. His husband was really cute when sulking.

Working together, they started to fill the cart with all of the foodstuffs they thought they needed to survive the rest of the month. They strolled through the aisles, packing the grocery cart higher and crossing items off the list one by one until they were almost done.

Now and then, a few customers were stealing glances at them. Taeyong assumed that they might recognize him or Jaehyun but he didn't think much of it. After they couldn't think of anything else to add to the cart, they steered it towards the cash registers where they joined one of the waiting lines. Many customers were ahead of them so they had to wait until it would be their turn.

“Are you tired, love?” Jaehyun asked, pushing Taeyong’s hair behind his ears.

Taeyong smiled, shaking his head.

“No, I’m fine,” he said. “It was fun.”

“It’s been a while, isn’t it?”

“Yes. Let’s cook together after this!”

“Sure, love,” Jaehyun smiled at his husband and his eyes were filled so much love that it made Taeyong’s cheeks blush again. “Should we call our friends? I think we owe them an explanation.”

Taeyong hummed.

“You’re right. They won’t let us live after this.”

“Don’t they always?”

They waited for fifteen minutes until their turn. They debated for a whole five minutes to decide who was going to pay and in the end, Jaehyun won. He gave Taeyong a quick peck on the lips as an apology, which made him blushed for the sudden public display of affection. Even the cashier girl blushed watching their small moment.

Taeyong was humming to a love song as he walked towards the parking lots with Jaehyun beside him when someone he didn't expect to see stepped out of the car next to theirs; Kang Seulgi looking slender and classy in simple ripped jeans and white t-shirt. Taeyong froze, his gaze locking with hers. He halted his steps and Jaehyun immediately caught his sudden change of demeanor. His husband caught his hand in a firm grip, intertwining their fingers and gently tugging him to move. The air around them became thick as they stopped in front of Seulgi who didn't move from her spot as if she was waiting for them.

It was the very first time Taeyong met Seulgi in person and up-close, her beauty was stunning, almost surreal. Her hair was black as ink and hung thick and straight almost to her waist. Her skin was fair and her body long and perfectly curved. Taeyong's stomach knotted. The pictures of Jaehyun and Seulgi smiled at each other was still as vivid as before but Taeyong trusted his husband. He hadn't lied when he'd said he trusted him. He knew that Jaehyun couldn't possibly have been physically intimate with another woman.

“Seulgi,” Jaehyun greeted her with a curt nod. He could feel the way Taeyong's body tensed and pulled his husband closer, wrapping his strong arms around his waist. “I didn't expect to see you here.”

Taeyong could see the way Seulgi's eyes followed Jaehyun's movement. He knew this might sound childish but he secretly felt secure as Jaehyun blatantly showed her his position.

“Hello, I'm Lee Taeyong,” he said, giving her a small polite smile. “I heard that you're Jaehyun's friend. Nice to meet you, Seulgi-ssi.” 

“I am,” Seulgi replied, her lips twitched a little when she looked at him. “Nice to meet you too, Taeyong-ssi. I’m sorry I couldn’t make it to the wedding.”

When she turned to Jaehyun, she smiled so fondly at him, and almost instantly Taeyong’s stomach twisted with jealousy. But he stayed composed, not letting it get the better of him. There was nothing between Jaehyun and Seulgi, he reminded himself that.

Jaehyun squeezed Taeyong’s waist reassuringly and the latter instinctively leaned against him, unaware of his own action because it felt natural to do that.

“I’m sorry, Seulgi. We have to go now. We’ll see you around.”

Seulgi smiled again but it was clear that it didn’t reach her eyes. “Yeah, sure. See you around.”

Jaehyun guided Taeyong toward the car, not sparing Seulgi another glance. Deep down, Taeyong wanted to get out of the situation quickly because as much as he tried to convince himself, it was still too early to deal with Seulgi. He didn’t feel threatened, though he could tell that she liked Jaehyun. But his relationship with Jaehyun was still fragile. They just recently reconciled and for now, Taeyong only wanted to focus on that and nothing else.

* * *

On the way back to the house, the air between them slowly shifted. Taeyong didn't let Jaehyun hold his hand and looked out of the windows the whole time. Jaehyun constantly glanced at his husband, wanting to pull him into his arms and showering him with kisses but held himself back. When they finally arrived home, they silently walked to the kitchen and dropped off the bags of groceries on the counter. Jaehyun was about to speak when suddenly Taeyong lunged forward and kissed him. The latter did what he'd wanted to do since they slid into the car. He shoved his hands in Jaehyun's hair and kissed him fiercely. Jaehyun kissed him back, growling when Taeyong tugged his hair harshly, sparking fierce lust and desire inside him. His hands were sliding over his back and slipped underneath his sweater, gripping his waist tightly. Jaehyun pushed Taeyong back until the latter was against the fridge, trapped between his body and the hard surface, his thigh sliding between his legs to open him.

Taeyong pushed his fingers into Jaehyun's hair to hold him and the latter kissed him again, his tongue sliding along his. He moaned when Jaehyun deepened the kiss, taking his breath away. His hand wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer.

“I need you,” Taeyong whispered, head back, and eyes closed against the weariness and turmoil that ached through him. He needed Jaehyun to sweep it all away. He wanted to lose himself in the bliss of belonging to him.

“Love, look at me,” Jaehyun's voice was gentle, softly coaxing him. Taeyong opened his eyes as Jaehyun pushed the bangs out of his eyes.

“I'm here,” he reassured him. “I'm here and I'm yours. Always.”

Taeyong's chest tightened, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. Jaehyun smiled and leaned forward for the sweetest of kisses, his firm lips moving gently against Taeyong's. Taeyong arched into the kiss, needing the reassurance of his touch. He sought a deeper contact, needing more. Jaehyun groaned into Taeyong's mouth and deepened the kiss, their tongues stroking, their breaths quickening.

“Off,” Taeyong demanded, needing to feel him skin to skin. Jaehyun was quick to strip off their clothes altogether, feeling the same urge as him. He lifted him, hitching one arm beneath his thighs to urge him to wrap his legs around his waist. Taeyong let out a moan as he could feel Jaehyun without any barrier.

Taeyong loved the way Jaehyun kissed him. It was as if he had to, as if he'd go crazy if he didn't. He kissed him tenderly, fiercely, and at that moment Taeyong forgot his fear, his insecurities, everything outside them was fading into a white background.

One of Jaehyun's free hands slid over Taeyong's belly, easing the tight muscles with a caressing massage. Taeyong could feel his erection against his lower abdomen and bravely rolled his hips down, making both of them moaned in delight. Taeyong ground down and threw his head back when Jaehyun instantly thrust upward.

“Love,” Jaehyun grunted, gripping Taeyong's waist so tight it would leave bruises. “We're in the kitchen.”

Taeyong stared at Jaehyun with half-lidded eyes filled with desire. His face flushed and he looked wrecked already. It made Jaehyun's cock stirred and his stomach tightened.

“I want you,” he whispered, sounding desperate. He cupped Jaehyun's jaw, stroking it gently. “Please.”

A deep and dangerous growl was the only answer Taeyong got before Jaehyun kissed him again and again—long, slow, deep kisses that left him breathless and languid. His fingers stroked his tummy again, a gentle and tender caress, as he lowered his head. And then his teeth tugged at his nipple and his finger slid into him. Taeyong let out a long breathy moan as a sharp pleasure jolted through him, his head lolling back against the fridge.

“Jaehyun~”

Jaehyun's fingers stroked deep inside, his mouth moved to his other nipple and Taeyong nearly exploded as his every nerve ending was screaming for release. But he didn't. He wanted to come with Jaehyun inside him.

“Please,” Taeyong sobbed as Jaehyun hit his soft spot over and over again, making his body trembled. “Jaehyun, baby, I need you. Now.”

Jaehyun groaned as Taeyong touched his cock, stroking and squeezing. He was so hard as Taeyong positioned him and he slid inside with ease.

“Angel,” Jaehyun's lips brushed over his shoulder blade, gripping his thighs possessively to support him. “My angel.”

Taeyong whimpered as Jaehyun's hips began to lunge, his hard cock pumping upward into him. He let out a hoarse cry of his name as his entire body shaking with intense pleasure.

“God, you're so tight,” Jaehyun gasped, thrusting harder and deeper.

They were so close, only inches apart. Taeyong looked at Jaehyun under his heavy eyelids, his lips parted as his husband slid even deeper, rocking his hips to meet his relentless thrusts. Jaehyun pulled and thrust back into him with powerful strength, touching the sensitive spot inside him. Taeyong screamed, arching his back and clenching eagerly around him.

“Love you,” Jaehyun kissed his jaw, quickening his pace. “I love you, angel.”

Jaehyun pounded his hips up at him, yanking Taeyong's hips down to meet his lunges. Taeyong could feel the orgasm slowly building inside him. It wasn't long until he came with a moan of Jaehyun's name, his entire body vibrated with pleasure. Jaehyun buried his face in his neck and held him as tight as he could as he came deep inside him.

That day, they spent the rest of the day making sweet music of their own. 

* * *


	12. and so the story began

* * *

Taeyong's face lighted up and a big smile bloomed across his face as he opened the front door and saw his friends were standing there. He immediately jumped into Yuta's arms because the latter was the one who stood right in front of him. Yuta laughed as he caught Taeyong by the waist, patting his hair gently.

“Someone's happy to see me,” Yuta mused. “Miss me that much, huh?”

Taeyong giggled as he pulled away. His eyes were twinkling with pure happiness.

“I see that you're still full of yourself.”

Doyoung snorted. “Don't he always?”

Yuta turned to Doyoung and let out a dramatic gasp, feigning a look of betrayal.

“Babe, how could you—“ 

Before Yuta could finish his sentence, Doyoung's hand immediately flew to his mouth, covering it and preventing him from talking. Taeyong's jaw dropped as he looked back and forth between his friends, confusion and shock written all over his face.

Johnny laughed as he stepped forward, wrapping his arms around Taeyong's shoulders. He dropped a kiss on top of his head and smiled in amusement as he watched his friend's expression.

“What happened?”

“Apparently a lot happened during these past few days,” Johnny explained. “We can talk about it inside.”

Taeyong blinked, realization slowly sinking in. “Are they—“

“Yes!”

“No!”

Yuta and Doyoung answered at the same time and then proceed to glare at each other. Ten let out an exasperated sigh.

“You think they would be less dumb after finally taking a step forward but no. They’re still the same. Let's just get inside and talk.”

It was almost dinner time so Taeyong decided to cook with Doyoung and Ten. Yuta was banned in the kitchen because he would only make a mess. The latter would either drop or burn something. Jaehyun and Johnny were pretty helpful but they would take too much space. In the end, the three of them worked together setting up the table and washed the dirty dishes.

When the food was ready they sat together, eating and talking. Taeyong and Jaehyun had told them that they had settled things between them over the phone but they still explained everything in detail. Their friends were genuinely happy to hear the news. They were so ready to knock some senses into Taeyong and Jaehyun's heads if the couple didn't make up by the end of the week.

The topic moved to Yuta and Doyoung after that. It took five whole minutes of them bickering before they finally admitted that they were together—Yuta was the one who announced it because Doyoung was too embarrassed to say it. He also told his friends that he wanted to skip the dates and jumped right into the relationship because they'd already wasted so many times and he couldn't wait longer to make Doyoung his. By the time he ended his serious speech, which was something that rarely happened, Doyoung was a blushing mess and almost in tears. The spark in his eyes spoke a lot. Yuta was so moved by his reaction that he couldn’t resist to kiss him. It was their first public display of affection and it was witnessed by their friends. After years of pinning they were finally together and their friends couldn't be happier.

Taeyong made eye contact with Johnny during dinner, silently asking him _how about you_ but the latter just winked at him. It meant that things were good as he's planned and Taeyong knew that another good news was coming. He just had to wait. It felt surreal to sit and talk and have fun just like how they used to be when they were in college. For a moment they were back in their old days, reminiscing the old times.

Finally, everything was starting to fall into places.

* * *

Things were started to get better after that. After Taeyong and Jaehyun told their friends, they called Soojung and thanked her for being such a supportive sister. She actually cried on the phone, telling them how happy she was. She threatened them that she would hunt them down if they broke up again—it couldn’t be taken lightly because she was true to her words.

Their relationship was growing slowly but steadily. They didn't really need to get used to each other because they just naturally went back into their old dynamic—only this time it was ten times more intense and strong. It's been weeks and everything was better than ever until one day, Taeyong felt like something was wrong with him. He'd been feeling sick lately but it wasn't a simple headache, fever, or stomachache. He had bags under his eyes for not sleeping well and spent almost a week throwing up in the toilet. He also peed like a camel and as far as he knew, it was another early symptom of pregnancy. Something about hormones causing blood to flow more quickly through the kidneys, resulting in the bladder filling more than often. Jaehyun was starting to get worried about his condition but he reassured his husband that it was just flu. He had suspicions but didn't want to jump into conclusion. After days contemplating, he finally decided to confirm it.

_Dread. _

That was all Taeyong felt staring at a pregnancy test that sat on the corner of the marble bathroom sink. He adjusted himself more comfortably on the toilet as he waited for what seemed like an eternity. Looking up at the clock that was above the bathroom mirror, memories began to flood his mind. He and Jaehyun had been sexually active lately. They've talked about kids and realized that even after years, they were still on the same page. Becoming parents had been their shared dream for as long as they could remember. At that time, though Jaehyun didn't know that Taeyong could get pregnant, they talked about it from time to time. They didn't want an overly huge family, but they at least wanted two kids.

Putting his right hand against his flat stomach, Taeyong began to fantasize about what he would look like if his dreams did come true and he became pregnant. Thinking that there might be life inside him made his chest tightened with hopes. After waiting for what seemed like forever, the time finally came. He lifted the pregnancy test and his eyes began to tear up with anticipation. He saw double pink lines and his hands flew to his mouth, tears already rolling down his cheeks. He wanted to jump up and down but then he felt his stomach churning real bad. He ran back to the toilet as he felt the vomit coming up. He dropped down his knees, flipping open the lid and hurled. As he was puking, he heard the door swung open and his husband calling for him.

“Love?”

Jaehyun was on Taeyong's side in an instant, holding his neck and keeping his hair out of his face. He'd been worrying about Taeyong and whether or not they should go to the hospital. Taeyong had strongly refused when he brought up the idea, telling him that the vomit would be gone in a few days. It didn't and Jaehyun was so close to forcing his husband to go. It broke his heart to see him curled up over the toilet every morning, puking his guts out even though he didn't eat anything.

“Love, I think we should see a doctor.”

Taeyong shook his head, struggling to control his breath. Jaehyun wiped sweat from his temple and forehead with his hand.

“I'm fine, baby.”

Jaehyun frowned. “You're not. You keep throwing up. Angel, I'm seriously worried about you.”

“Help me up.”

Jaehyun silently helped his husband up, holding his elbow gently as he steered him to the sink. Taeyong cleaned his mouth and brushed his teeth first before turning to Jaehyun. His husband lifted him into the counter, trapping his body between his thighs.

“I have something to tell you.”

Jaehyun hummed as he pushed Taeyong's hair out of his eyes. “What is it?”

Taeyong smiled as he held up the pregnancy test, waving it slightly in front of Jaehyun's face.

“I'm pregnant.”

There was a moment of silence after Taeyong announced the news. Jaehyun straightened his back, looking at Taeyong with his eyes blown wide and his lips parted slightly. His face was blank and his jaw dropped, seemingly in a daze.

“You're...pregnant?”

Taeyong nodded. “That's why I've been so sick.”

Taeyong smiled as he handed the test to Jaehyun who managed to gain his senses back. Jaehyun took the stick from his hand, staring down at the double pink lines for a long moment that Taeyong started to get worried. When he lifted his eyes to his again, there were tears in his eyes.

“We're having a baby?” he asked, sounded amazed by the new word, reminding Taeyong of a little boy who liked to talk about Santa Claus and its magic. His heart instantly melted.

“Yes, baby. We're having a baby.” Taeyong replied, emotions clogging his throat and tears forming in his eyes. Almost instantly Jaehyun's eyes lit up and a broad grin swept across his face, dimples on full display. He took a step forward and crushed Taeyong. His husband threw his arms around his neck. Laughing, Jaehyun lifted him off the counter and swung him around. Taeyong squealed ecstatically, the sound of pure happiness and joy resonated in the room, in their hearts. Putting him down gently, Jaehyun held his face and slanted his mouth over his. They kissed passionately, their tongues stroking between whispered endearments and happy tears.

“I love you, angel,” he whispered against his lips. “I love you so much it hurts.”

Taeyong's eyes stung with fresh tears as he looked into Jaehyun's eyes.

“I love you too, baby,”

It was the very first time Taeyong said it back and this time, both of them knew that it was the truth. Jaehyun's heart swelled with immense love as he swept Taeyong up into his arms and carried him back inside their room, moving to the bedroom. He settled him down by the bed, climbing on top of him. Gazes locked, they slowly undressed each other as though they were unwrapping the most precious gifts they'd ever received. Then they proceeded to make love as if they'd just met. Jaehyun kissed every part of Taeyong, leaving no area of skin untouched. Taeyong trembled as Jaehyun slowly slid his lips down his quivering stomach where their child grew inside him. He lingered there, whispering husky words of love and adoration that brought tears to their eyes.

They gazed into each other's eyes as Jaehyun slid inside Taeyong. The latter wrapped his arms around his muscled back and his thighs around his hips, pulling him closer and deeper. Back and forth, up and down, just stroking and letting their joined bodies heed their own natural rhythm and flow. It was one of the most intense lovemaking they'd ever had. It was beautiful, healing, and powerful.

When they came explosively together, their warm tears and full hearts blending as they kissed.

* * *

Long afterward, Jaehyun held Taeyong close as his husband stroked his chest with his slender fingers. He sighed dreamily.

“I'm so happy right now,” he said, dropping a kiss on top of Taeyong’s head as his husband snuggled closer to him. “You make me so happy, love.”

“You make me happy, too,”

As Jaehyun gently stroked Taeyong's hair, the latter's eyes caught the ring on his finger and for the first time since they were married, he could finally stare at it without thinking of the past. The diamonds sparkled in the warm lamplight and his heart warmed thinking that it was real. The moment was real and now they were having a baby together. Dozens of thoughts flooded his mind. They were going to become parents.

Taeyong leaned his head against Jaehyun's chest and closed his eyes—thinking, wishing, dreaming about the future and what their son or daughter would look like and be like. After everything he and Jaehyun have been through, they were finally here, together with their unborn child.

“Do you want to tell our family and friends after this?”

Taeyong hummed. “I bet Doyoung and Ten are going to cry.”

“Soojung nuna is going to bawl her eyes out as well. Trust me. She's actually a softie inside.”

Taeyong laughed, feeling so light and warm and incredibly happy right now.

“God, we owe her so much,” he said. “Should we buy her something?”

“That's a good idea. We can go shopping this week.”

Jaehyun held Taeyong tight as he rocked him back and forth on the bed. He stared down at his husband, loving the man in his arms more than he'd ever loved anyone in his life. He tenderly cradled his face between his hands and lowered his mouth to his, lips brushing gently and tenderly.

“Thank you for everything, love,” he whispered.

Taeyong smiled as he lifted his head to peck Jaehyun's lips and then his dimples. Jaehyun gathered him close as the latter settled contentedly in his arms.

This was where they belonged. This was home.

* * *


	13. new night, new day, new dream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello, it's me again. we're nearing the ending. i hope you guys enjoy the update. i love you all 3000 <3

* * *

Jaehyun and Taeyong called Sooyeon, Yoora, and Soojung on the same day to tell them about the good news. They knew that their mothers were going to cry and had predicted that Soojung would cry as well, but they did not expect her to bawl her eyes out throughout the whole phone call. She couldn't stop crying after she heard the news. The whole family was ecstatic to learn that Taeyong was pregnant and their phone had blown up with a lot of calls and messages. Everyone congratulated them, happy to welcome the new addition in their family.

Shortly after Jaehyun and Taeyong delivered the news, Sooyeon, Yoora, and Soojung came to their house. They gave them a bone-crushing hug, crying in happiness.

“I'm so happy for you, Jaehyunie,” Sooyeon held Jaehyun's face in her delicate hands, her eyes glistening with tears. Jaehyun smiled as he wiped her mother's eyes. “I can’t believe you’re to be a father.”

“Thank you, mother,” he said, his expression mirrored hers. “I'm happy, too.”

“I'm so glad things turn out very well for you and Taeyongie.”

Jaehyun lifted his head and his eyes locked with Taeyong's who’s standing several feet away from him with Yoora. He looked at his mother again and felt the same relief rushed over him. His throat constricted as he thought of the previous years without Taeyong. Sometimes he couldn’t believe that they could get this far.

“I'm glad too, mother. I'm glad.”

Sooyeon smiled, patting Jaehyun's cheeks gently. “In the end, it's worth the struggle, isn't it?”

It was indeed and Jaehyun didn't regret anything.

Sooyeon kissed Jaehyun's cheek before going to Taeyong. After his mother was gone, Soojung jumped into his arms, crying again. Jaehyun laughed as he wrapped his arms around her waist, holding her tight.

“Why are you crying so much? This is so out of character, you know.”

She sobbed. “I can't believe you're going to be a dad. You've grown up, Jaehyun-ah.”

Jaehyun held his sister tighter, rocking her in his arms. He let her had her moment, rubbing her back gently to comfort her. In between her tears, she told him how happy she was for him. She was glad and relieved that his little brother finally got his happiness after long painful years.

“God, my eyeliners are smudged now,” Soojung complained as she sniffled. Instead of laughing at her like he usually did, Jaehyun gently wiped her cheeks with his thumbs.

“You still look pretty,” he said. “I'm pretty sure Jongin hyung will think the same.”

Soojung instantly slapped Jaehyun's torso. She ignored his surprised yelp as he glared at his brother.

“Why are you hitting me?”

Soojung hissed. “Shut up, Jaehyun. Don't bring Jongin into this conversation.”

“Aren't you supposed to call him 'oppa'? He's older than you,” he teased her, enjoying her blushing cheeks. “When will I meet my future brother-in-law?”

“Jung Jaehyun!”

Jaehyun laughed at Soojung's panicked expression. Her sister turned around to Sooyeon, checking whether she heard their conversation or not.

“You know you're free to date whoever you want, right? Our family knows Jongin hyung since he's a baby so there won't a problem with it. We would be happy to welcome him to our family.”

Soojung sighed. “I know. Just let me take my time, okay? I will tell mother when the time is right.”

Jaehyun just nodded and smiled. For the longest time, Soojung was busy taking care of others and he was happy to know that there was someone who could take care of her. It was time for her to live her life. Jaehyun wished her all the happiness in the world because she deserved it.

* * *

It was almost dinner time and they decided to have a barbeque party. Jaehyun, Sooyeon, and Soojung were currently at the backyard preparing the table and everything. Taeyong and Yoora were in the kitchen, preparing the dishes and vegetables. They worked together while talking about the baby. Yoora and Sooyeon wanted to have a big celebration and for once, Taeyong didn't object to the idea. He and Jaehyun knew that their mothers would want to announce the happy news to the world.

“Taeyongie,” Yoora said after a moment of silence. Taeyong hummed as a response. She continued, “I've told Joohyunie about your pregnancy and she wanted me to tell you that she's happy to hear the news.”

Taeyong instantly stopped his movement, frozen in his spot. Despite having to go through a lot of things these past few months, the thought of Joohyun still haunted him. He couldn't stop thinking about her, wondering where she was and how she was doing. It felt as if there was a missing puzzle piece in his life and he knew that until he could meet his sister again, it won't be perfectly completed.

“Did she tell you when she's going to come home?” he asked after a loaded moment of silence. Yoora sighed.

“Not specifically,” she replied. “But she told me that she's going to come back soon.”

Taeyong's heart still ached thinking about Joohyun and the situation that put them like this. He wanted so badly talk to her again but after she ran away, she had completely gone into a thin air and he couldn't reach her.

Sensing her son's distress, Yoora wrapped her arm around his shoulder, squeezing it gently.

“Don't think too much and stress yourself. It's not going to be good for you and the baby.”

Taeyong nodded, leaning his head against her mother's. “Yes, mom. I'll try.”

“You know that Joohyunie loves you, right? Wherever she is right now, she's happy for you.”

“I love her too, mom,” he said, his throat clogging with emotions. “I just miss her so much.”

“She misses you too, baby. But soon, she's going to come home. Let's just wait for her, okay?”

Taeyong could only nod his head in reply. “Yes, mom. I'll wait for her.”

* * *

The next day, Taeyong and Jaehyun called their friends to inform them about their pregnancy. As expected, they cried when they heard the news and promised them to come to their house before dinner. Jaehyun didn't let Taeyong cook so they ordered in. He didn't want his husband to get tired and they ended up cuddling on the couch while waiting for their friends to come.

When they finally came, the first ones who jumped into Taeyong's arms were Doyoung and Ten. The three of them cried together meanwhile Jaehyun, Yuta, and Johnny watching them on the side with a fond smile on their faces. It felt as if it was only yesterday where they were stressing over homework and exams in college. Now the six of them were adults with huge responsibilities.

“I can't believe you're going to be a parent,” Doyoung sniffled as he pulled away from Taeyong, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand. “You're having a baby, Taeyongie.”

Ten put his hand over Taeyong's stomach, his eyes sparkling with amazement.

“You're going to have little Jaehyun and little Taeyong running around the house.”

Taeyong laughed but his eyes were filled with fresh tears. He cried so easily these days and Jaehyun always reassured him that it was fine for him to do that. It must have been his pregnancy hormones.

“Time flies, isn't it?” Taeyong let out a sigh, leaning back against the couch with Doyoung and Ten on his sides. “I'm so happy right now.”

“You deserve all the happiness in the world, Taeyongie,” Doyoung held one of his hands, patting it gently. “I'm happy for you, too.”

“I'm happy you and Yuta finally came around after years and years of pinning.”

For the first time since the topic of his relationship with Yuta had brought up, Doyoung let out a smile. It was sincere and genuine. There was a glow in his face and he looked so happy than Taeyong had ever seen before.

“I'm happy, too,” he admitted, smiling. “Yuta is so annoying but I think I can live with that. I couldn't imagine life without him now.”

Ten feigned a surprised gasp. “Wait until Yuta heard that. You’ll never hear the end of that.”

Doyoung groaned meanwhile Taeyong and Ten laughed.

“Yuta literally asked me to live with him on our first date. He's crazy.”

"Crazily in love with you,” Taeyong teased him and to his and Ten's surprise, Doyoung blushed—something that almost never happened before. And Yuta was the one who made him look like that.

Doyoung hissed at his friends to cover his embarrassment.

“Stop it, you two.”

“Oh my god,” Ten wheezed. “You're in too deep.”

“Shut up, Ten. I'm not going to be like you and Johnny.”

“What about us?”

Doyoung wrinkled his nose in distaste. “You guys are sickeningly in love with each other. Your public display affection is the worst.”

“Just admit that you're jealous, Doyo,” Ten stuck his tongue out at him, wriggling his eyebrows playfully which made Doyoung scowling. “I'm pretty sure Yuta would love to have you sit on his lap or cuddle you to sleep.”

When Doyoung's face turned redder which indicated that it already happened, Ten and Taeyong doubled in laughter. They continued to tease their friend until Doyoung couldn't take it anymore and pouted in defeat. When they were being merciless, he could never win against them.

* * *

Jaehyun, Yuta, and Johnny gathered in the living room, chatting casually while waiting for their partners to come home. Taeyong had wanted to eat some ice creams after dinner so Doyoung and Ten offered to go with him to the supermarket.

“It's a good thing that you bought this house,” Yuta opened the conversation. “You and Taeyong are going to have babies so a big place like this is perfect.”

Johnny hummed in agreement. “I think I might buy a new house soon. Ten and I would need a bigger place once we're married.”

“When are you going to propose to him?” Jaehyun asked, sipping his wine slowly.

“Tonight,” Johnny confidently said. “I’m going to do it tonight.”

Yuta and Jaehyun looked at Johnny with a proud smile on their face. Johnny and Ten have been in a relationship since they were still in college. They’ve been through a lot together and it was about time they got married. It was crazy how they still managed to look like a sick fool in love even after years. Their public display of affection was still the same since the beginning. They had a very mature and healthy relationship. That was why they could last long.

“That’s great, Jonathan. I’m one hundred percent sure that Ten will say yes.”

“Yeah, Yuta’s right. Don't worry too much about it.”

“Thank you, guys,” Johnny sincerely said. He was very grateful to have such supportive friends. “If he said yes, I'm going to take him to Thailand to personally ask his parents’ blessing.”

“Should I do that too?” Yuta mused. “But I visit Doyoung’s parents all the time. I talk to them like I talk to my parents.”

Jaehyun let out a chuckle.

“You practically tell them that you’re going to marry Doyoung whenever you visit there. They like you and treat you like their own son. You just need to ask Doyoung.”

Johnny nodded. “That’s right. I can’t believe Doyoung agreed to move in with you right away.”

“What can I say? He loves me too much. Plus we’ve been wasting too much time. It’s better this way.”

Yuta looked so proud and their friends couldn’t help but smile at his confidence. It was a very long journey for both Yuta and Doyoung. Despite knowing that they liked each other, none of them were brave enough to take the first step. It took years of convincing and reassuring for them to finally be honest with each other. Now that they were finally together, they didn’t hesitate to move fast.

They continued to chat, discussing and sharing opinions about their future plan. As Jaehyun sat there, looking at his friends, he felt warm knowing that people he loved were happy with their own story.

* * *

Long after their friends had gone home, Taeyong and Jaehyun got ready to bed. They brushed their teeth, winking at each other through the mirror. Jaehyun playfully slapped Taeyong's butt and the latter giggled in happiness. Taeyong rinsed out his mouth then hopped onto the gleaming counter and grinned at Jaehyun, wrapping his thighs around his hips and pulling him closer.

“Mom told me that she thinks it's going to be a boy.”

“Really? Mother told me the same thing too. I think it's their mother's instincts.”

Taeyong hummed. “Boy or girl, I don't mind. I can't wait to welcome little Jung into our family.”

A slow grin curved Jaehyun's mouth. He wrapped his arms around Taeyong's slim waist, holding him close. He gently held his chin and smiled at him; a sweet, grateful smile that never failed to melt Taeyong's chest.

“Me too, love,” he said, then bopped him on the nose affectionately. Remembering that they were still in the bathroom, he scooped Taeyong off the counter and carried him back into the room. After they climbed into bed, he drew the covers up to their waists. They lay on their sides, facing each other.

“Mom has called Dr. Kim to make our first appointment. Are you free the day after tomorrow?”

“Of course, love,” he said. “I won't miss anything. I will be there for you. Always.”

Taeyong smiled, visibly pleased, and for some reason, he was glowing. It made Jaehyun's heart skipped a beat just to see his beautiful face.

Jaehyun leaned forward and he couldn't resist the urge to kiss him. Taeyong sighed softly as he slipped his tongue into his mouth, gently licking and sucking his. When Jaehyun suddenly pushed him onto his back, his husband laughed breathlessly. As he pinned his wrists above his head and laced their fingers together, his eyes gazed up at him and they were shining with pure happiness. Jaehyun sucked in a fast breath, overwhelmed with emotions.

“God, I love you so much. You're driving me crazy, angel.”

Jaehyun dipped his head down to kiss Taeyong, his mouth moving gently, his tongue licking leisurely. Taeyong brought one of his hands to his face and touched his cheek, brushing it softly with his fingers. Everything felt right and it couldn't have been more perfect.

“I love you,” he said.

Taeyong smiled. “I love you, too.”

That night, they fell asleep in each other's arms, feeling contented and at ease knowing that they had each other. 

* * *


	14. lost and found

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello, i've edited this fic and includes it as the first part of the series called [no one belong here more than you](https://twitter.com/_hitmyheart/status/1193868938137849856?s=20). you can check out the thread to see the family tree!^^ also this fic is coming to an end. next chapter will be the last chapter! i hope you enjoy the update <3

* * *

Taeyong's pregnancy was a blast for him and Jaehyun. It strengthened the dynamic between them. Jaehyun was more careful, protective, and gallant. He didn’t let Taeyong to work too much—he didn’t even let his husband opened jars of cookies. He held his elbow or waist when they walked. At nights, he would massage Taeyong's feet and stroked his tummy as he talked to their baby in a hushed voice. He was always be the big spoon, never forgot to hold Taeyong with his hand wrapped securely around his tummy as if protecting him and their baby. The three of them were whole.

The news of Taeyong’s pregnancy was quickly spread as the paparazzi caught Taeyong and Jaehyun on the hospital during their first appointment. After the cat was out of the bag, their family sent out an invitation to the party as they’ve planned. Not only family and friends but there would also be some business partners. The situation might make Taeyong felt uncomfortable but Jaehyun had arranged everything so that they could leave early.

The party was in a few hours and while Jaehyun was in the bathroom, taking a shower, Taeyong stopped and posed in front of the mirror only in his panties, looking at his tummy. He was entering the first month of his pregnancy and his body hadn't shown that much of a change. But he knew that soon his body weight would start to nourish. Sooyeon and Yoora told him that once he entered the third month of pregnancy, his breast would become plumper and ripe while his ass and hips carried its beefy structure. Taeyong had prepared himself for that but none of it compared to the small bump that was slowly surfacing in his stomach. He touched it gently and being an emotional mess that he was, tears of joys suddenly emerged in his eyes.

“Love, what’s wrong?”

Jaehyun emerged from the bathroom, his hair still wet and the towel he wore was only wrapped around his hips. He quickly walked to Taeyong and stopped before him, holding his face gently.

“Hey, is everything okay?”

Taeyong sniffled. “Yes. I’m just feeling emotional because I’m pregnant.”

Jaehyun let out a chuckle. He then leaned down to peck Taeyong’s lips.

“It’s normal, love. You will feel emotional from time to time. And it’s fine. I wouldn’t mind.”

“Even if I gain ten more kilos and look like a balloon?”

Jaehyun smiled. Taeyong was literally glowing with this essence of beauty only pregnant people had but the latter didn't notice that.

“Love, your look doesn’t matter. I will still love you the same.”

Fresh tears stung Taeyong’s eyes. “You probably don’t want to have sex with me again when I’m too fat to even move.”

Jaehyun frowned. Sooyeon, Yoora, and Soojung had warned him that pregnant people would have a mood swing from time to time. They told him to prepare himself for it but he didn’t like it when his husband felt insecure about himself. He knew Taeyong felt that way because it had something to do with pregnancy’s hormone and it was his job to make him feel better and good about himself.

“Angel,” Jaehyun's fingertips brushed over Taeyong's jaw, up to the corner of his lips, tingling as they always did when they touched his skin. “I will always want you.”

The words were a promise, a statement of truth, and spoken fervently and fiercely.

“Jaehyun.”

Taeyong shuddered as Jaehyun's hands circled his waist and pulled his body against the center of his arousal. A low moan of hunger left him as Jaehyun rolled his hips upward to show him his desire and lust over him. He breathed him in with deep inhalations, his fingers kneading into the rigid muscles of his back. Jaehyun held him, his body so much bigger and harder. Taeyong always felt safe in his embrace, cherished and protected. Nothing could touch or hurt him when Jaehyun was holding him.

“I love you,”

Jaehyun whispered before pressing his lips against Taeyong's, kissing his insecurities away. He lifted him and Taeyong quickly circling his legs around his waist. He rocked his cock against his, drawing another gasp from his husband. Taeyong threw his head back as he wrapped his hands around Jaehyun's shoulders, his eyes blown wide and his cheeks flushed.

“You feel me, angel?” Jaehyun whispered as he thrust his clothed cock against Taeyong’s entrance. “You're beautiful and I want you just like this. Always.”

Taeyong bit his lower lips, preventing himself from moaning. 

“Baby, we have to dress up.”

Jaehyun only hummed as he buried his face in the warmth of Taeyong's neck, nuzzling him. Taeyong smelled heavenly, soft and sweet. He rubbed against him, feeling the heat of him through his underwear. Taeyong's tongue licked Jaehyun's ear, tickling him. Jaehyun jerked, cursing, and Taeyong laughed.

“You’re not listening to me!”

Jaehyun groaned. “Angel, you’re making me hard.”

“We need to leave, baby. We can’t do that now.”

Letting out another sigh of defeat, Jaehyun nodded.

“Fine. But let me hold you until I’m soft, okay?”

Taeyong giggled, and he looked so beautiful that it tightened Jaehyun’s chest with love and adoration to see him. Jaehyun's heart still pounded whenever he held Taeyong, knowing what he meant to him. The way he made him feel was fresh and new, yet it would never get old. That was why when he found him again, he would go through everything he had to appreciate him because he didn't want to take him for granted. Because Taeyong was precious and Jaehyun would make sure his husband knew that.

* * *

A few hours later, after successfully passing by a thick crowd in the entrance of the building and bright flashes from the cameras, Jaehyun steered Taeyong through the groups of people, pausing briefly for those who greeted them. Soojung was the first one who found them. She approached them and the first thing she did was hugging Taeyong, swinging their bodies together while giggling.

“Taeyongie!” she squealed as she pulled away, a broad smile bloom on her beautiful face. “Oh my god, you’re glowing!”

Taeyong’s cheeks easily blushed at the compliment. It only made Soojung cooed over him.

“Thank you, nuna. You look beautiful too.”

“She looks like a witch.” Jaehyun retorted.

Soojung snorted meanwhile Taeyong glared at his husband.

“Jaehyunie, don’t say that!”

“It’s fine, Taeyongie,” she said as she waved her hand in dismissal. “He’s just jealous because I treat him like he doesn’t exist.”

“No, I’m not,” Jaehyun pouted, wrapping his arms around Taeyong’s waist protectively, pulling his husband closer to him. “Now can you please lead us to our table? I don’t want my husband to stand for too long, nuna.”

Taeyong let out a whine. “Jaehyunie, I’m perfectly fine.”

“No, Jaehyun is right,” Soojung said, her face was completely serious. “I don’t want your feet to hurt. Come on, Taeyongie. Mother, Aunty Yoora, and your friends are already waiting.”

Taeyong had noticed that everyone had become more protective over him now that he was pregnant, especially Jaehyun. It was still early on his pregnancy but everyone had already made a fuss over small things. If his belly grew bigger than this, he was certain that people would treat him more protective than this. Not that he was complaining. It was actually felt good receiving so much attention and care, but he wasn’t an invalid. He still could do things on his own but for now, as long as it didn’t cross the line, then Taeyong was fine with it.

The party went well. Jaehyun had to leave the table to talk with his business partners as a form of gratitude meanwhile Taeyong was busy eating with his friends. Yuta and Johnny were patient enough to get whatever Taeyong wanted because the latter wanted to eat different things every fifteen minutes. Taeyong knew he didn’t usually eat that much and as he stared at his fifth chocolate cake, he felt like crying. He pushed it aside, feeling torn.

“I’m going to gain five pounds by the end of the week if I continue eating like a pig.”

“So? You’re pregnant, Taeyong,” Doyoung said as he pushed a plate of chocolate cake back to Taeyong. “Eat as much as you want.”

“Don’t restrain yourself,” Johnny patted Taeyong’s head gently, smiling in understanding. “If you want more, I can get it for you.”

“If you were to turn into a pig, then you would be the most beautiful pig in the world.”

Ten glared at Yuta. “Can you just say he’s beautiful in a simpler and nicer way?”

Yuta childishly stuck out his tongue.

“You do it your way then.”

Taeyong who was on the verge of crying immediately laughed as he watched his friends bickering. When Doyoung fed him the chocolate cake, he happily finished it. Jaehyun still hadn’t shown up so Taeyong excused himself because he needed to go to the bathroom. Johnny offered to accompany him but he strongly refused, wanting to get some fresh air. It didn’t take long for him to release himself. After he was done, he was about to go back to his table when suddenly someone appeared before him out of nowhere, startling him.

He took a step back to properly look at the intruder and his breath quickly got stuck on his throat as he looked at someone he didn’t expect to see at all—Kang Seulgi.

“Can I talk to you for a moment?”

* * *

Taeyong silently followed Seulgi who led him to the balcony, away from the people. He had no idea why she wanted to talk to him—he didn’t even know that she was invited. It should be obvious, given that she was one of Jaehyun’s business partners. He didn’t have a fond memory of her and after finding out his pregnancy, a lot of things were going on his mind. He didn’t have time to think of anything else outside that.

When Seulgi finally stopped walking, Taeyong stood next to her, making a safe distance between them. It was awkward without Jaehyun and he didn’t know how to start a conversation so he waited for her.

Taeyong was aware of Seulgi's beauty and gracefulness but he'd never looked at her this close before. She was even more gorgeous than he remembered. Tall and slender, with sharp dark eyes and a cascade of straight brown hair. Her lips were lush and red, her cheekbones high and sculpted. Her dress fitted her perfectly. She looked like a supermodel and exuded an exotic appeal. It reminded Taeyong of the bitter event in the past and almost instantly he stepped away, trying to keep his emotion on check.

“I’m sorry for taking you away from Jaehyun and your friends,” she finally talked, her voice didn’t sound as cold as the last time she talked to him.

“What do you want to talk about?”

Taeyong knew that there was only one thing they could talk about but he didn’t want to be the one who brought that up. He still wasn’t certain what was Seulgi’s intention and until then, he didn’t want to give anything away.

“I want to apologize to you.”

Now that was something Taeyong didn’t expect to hear at all. He couldn’t hide his surprise as he turned to her.

“What?”

Seulgi turned to him. Her face softened and her eyes were genuine as she looked at him. It caught Taeyong off guard because it felt like looking at a completely different person.

“I know you’re aware of my feelings for Jaehyun,” she said, and strangely her blunt honesty didn’t surprise him. “Maybe I’m still bitter over the fact that he’s taken but it’s never my intention to take him away from you. I’m sorry the media made it looks like we’re having an affair.”

“It’s fine,” he replied, and it was honest. “I’ve talked to Jaehyun. I trust him.”

“I’m sorry for acting cold the last time we met. It was very rude of me to do that.”

Taeyong smiled and shook his head in dismissal. It never occurred to him that he needed this. He trusted Jaehyun but after listening to Seulgi’s explanation, he felt completely at ease.

“It’s fine, Seulgi-ssi. I didn’t take that personally.”

Seulgi smiled, and now she looked more friendly and approachable. She held out her hand and Taeyong took it without hesitancy.

“Thank you, Taeyong-ssi. Congratulations on your pregnancy. I hope your baby takes after you because Jaehyun can be a pain in the ass sometimes.”

Taeyong laughed, light and easy. He had a feeling that he and Seulgi would be fine after this.

* * *

Jaehyun found Taeyong right after the latter said goodbye to Seulgi. He quickly pulled him into his arms, holding him by the waist.

“Love, where have you been?”

“I was with Seulgi.”

Jaehyun’s body instantly went rigid. His grip on his waist tightened. Taeyong laughed at his reaction. He cupped his face, stroking his jaw to ease his tension.

“We’re fine, baby. She apologized to me and now we’re sort of friends.”

“Are you sure?”

“One hundred percent.”

Jaehyun let out a sigh. “As long as she doesn’t try something funny to you, then I’m fine with it.”

“Don’t worry. She doesn’t seem as bad as I thought she would be.”

Jaehyun smiled, leaning forward to kiss his husband on the lips. “You have such a big heart.”

“Look who’s talking.”

Jaehyun laughed heartily, nudging his nose against Taeyong’s. His husband laughed with him.

“Can we go home now? I’m sleepy.”

Jaehyun’s demeanor instantly changed. The smile on his face disappeared. Taeyong frowned at the sudden change of mood.

“Love, I’m afraid we can’t. There’s someone who wants to meet you.”

Taeyong’s frown deepened. He’d greeted everyone who came to the party. Did a family member come late and wanted to talk to him?”

“Who is it?”

Jaehyun let out a sigh before answering. “Joohyunie.”

* * *


	15. the story ends with us

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello, this story has come to an end :') i just wanted to say thank you so much for being with me throughout the whole ride. i had so much fun writing this story and i really enjoyed the processㅡbrainstorming the plots and creating the characters. i hope you guys enjoy this. love you all <3 <3

* * *

There were a lot of things going on Taeyong's mind right now as Jaehyun led him to the backyard where Joohyun was waiting for him. He couldn’t believe that his sister was back. He'd been waiting for this moment to come but now that it did, he was at a loss of words. There was an unfinished matter between him and her and now that he was going to meet her, he didn’t quite know what to say.

Jaehyun could easily sense Taeyong’s distress and he stopped him before they reached the backyard. He held his face in his hands, stroking his cheeks gently.

“Love, are you okay?”

Taeyong licked his dry lips, his body trembling a little—nervousness and anxiousness mixing together.

“I don’t know,” he answered truthfully. “I’m so happy she’s finally here but I don’t know what to say to her.”

“I’ve talked to her when you were out with Seulgi,” Jaehyun told him. “We're good now. She explained everything to me. Now you two need to talk. She wants to tell you everything.”

Joohyun did promise Taeyong in her letter that when the right time came, she would come home and explain everything because he deserved to know the truth.

Letting out a deep sigh, Taeyong nodded. “Okay. Let’s go.”

Jaehyun led Taeyong to a bench and settled him there. He knelt before his husband, taking in his hands in his and squeezing them gently as a way to support him.

“You’re gonna be okay, love,” Jaehyun reassured him, kissing his knuckles gently. “Call me when you’re done, okay?”

“Okay.”

After Jaehyun left, Taeyong waited for Joohyun to show up. He was still anxious but the thought of meeting his sister again sent a jolt of excitement down his spines. He couldn’t wait to see her again. Finally, after what seemed like forever, Joohyun came and her new appearance surprised Taeyong. His sister had short hair framing her beautiful, sculptured face. For as long as he remembered, she never had a style like that before. But other than that, she still looked pretty much the same as the last time he saw her. Her strapped dress fitted her perfectly, showing her graceful curves. She smiled as she approached him.

“Hey, baby brother,”

Taeyong’s eyes stung with fresh tears as he looked at Joohyun. He missed her so much. Without saying another word, he lunged forward and wrapped his arms around her petite figure, holding her tightly.

“I missed you,”

Joohyun cooed, patting his back gently. “I missed you too, Taeyongie.”

They held each other for a moment before Taeyong pulled away, rubbing his eyes while sniffling.

“Aww, you’re still so cute.”

Taeyong slapped Joohyun's hand away from reaching his cheek, pouting at her.

“I’m not cute.”

“Yes, you are.”

“Am not.”

Joohyun smiled. “You’re still so stubborn.”

“How have you been, Nuna? You’ve been gone for too long.”

“I’m good,” she said, and she did look good. Her hair fell softly around her face and though she always had an ethereal glow about her, she looked slightly different tonight. Her eyes were brighter, sparkling with wonder. She looked like someone who just tasted life. It was as if she could actually fly and soar in the sky if she wanted. Taeyong had never seen her like that before. It made him realize that even though the circumstance that put them in this situation wasn’t ideal at all, Joohyun did the right thing by being away from the spotlight and chasing something she’d been dreaming about for her whole life.

“I’m sorry for making you worried. I’d put you into a difficult situation and I’m sorry for that, too.”

Now that Joohyun mentioned it again, it felt as if it had happened a long time ago. Taeyong hadn’t thought about it because everything had slowly fallen into places. And he was too happy with his life to think about anything else outside that.

“Nuna, it’s okay. I’m more than happy now.”

Joohyun took one of Taeyong's hands and squeezed it. “I know. But I owe you an explanation.”

“Okay,” Taeyong let out a deep breath. “Tell me.”

Joohyun took a deep breath before she finally told Taeyong everything. She explained that at first, she didn’t know that Jaehyun was Taeyong’s ex-boyfriend because it was true that the latter never mentioned it. She found out about it a few months before the wedding when she visited Taeyong’s apartment. When the latter was taking a bath, she accidentally kicked something sturdy under his bed. It turned out to be an album. It was filled Taeyong and Jaehyun’s pictures—their memories in college were all in there. She was very shocked because his brother didn’t say anything when she told him about the wedding. But she should've noticed how his face was ashen when he heard Jaehyun’s name.

Joohyun knew that she wouldn’t be able to marry Jaehyun after she knew the truth. She didn’t have the heart to do that to Taeyong so she talked to Yoora. Their mother wasn’t mad when Joohyun explained everything and went on with it. She then discussed the matter with Sooyeon and that was how they came up with the plan. They knew it was risky but they believed in Taeyong and Jaehyun so they pushed it. In the end, it went just as how they’ve planned it.

After Joohyun finished talking, Taeyong could only sit there in a daze. It was a lot to take in and for a moment, he didn’t know what to do or say.

“I know that we crossed the boundaries but the moment I saw the picture of you and Jaehyun together, I knew that I should do something,” Joohyun continued. “Since the beginning, Jaehyun and I knew that the wedding would just be a business. We couldn’t be more than good friends. I know it would be a different story if it’s you and Jaehyun. And fate has its way to bind those who're meant to be together.”

Taeyong's throat instantly constricted. “Nuna…”

“Though Jaehyun didn’t object to the arranged marriage, it’s clear that his heart belongs to someone else. As for you, I know that you still love Jaehyun. I’m not blind, Taeyongie. I can see it in your eyes. You might not notice that but whenever I talked about Jaehyun, I can see longing there. That was why I’m brave enough to go along with the plan. I wouldn’t do it if I wasn’t sure about the result. I know that it could be hard in the beginning but I believe that you and Jaehyun can find a way back to each other. And in the end, you guys did.”

Taeyong couldn’t help the tears rolling down his cheeks. It felt as if the heavyweight on his shoulders was finally lifted now that he’s learned the truth. He couldn’t possibly get mad at Joohyun after he knew that she did all of that for him—for his happiness. Because she believed that he and Jaehyun could make their relationship worked once again. That they could find a way back to each other. And she was right. They did. Taeyong had never been the one who believed in fate but now that he thought of it, there wasn’t another explanation for the situation except that they’re fated.

“I’m so happy for you, Taeyongie,” she continued, tears rolling down her cheeks. “I’m so glad you and Jaehyunie worked things out. And now you guys are having a baby together.”

Taeyong sniffled. “Thank you, Nuna. I don’t know what else to say.”

“No, don’t thank me. And you don’t have to say anything. It’s your fate. You and Jaehyun can’t run away from it. In the end, it works how it’s supposed to be.”

* * *

There was one thing that had drastically changed from Jaehyun after he found out about Taeyong's pregnancy. He became more protective than before. He’d been trying to convince Taeyong to stay at home because he was afraid that his husband would get tired and stressed over his works. It was something that had been the topic of argument for the couple for the last few days. And it eventually led to their first fight.

“I told you I can take care of myself!” Taeyong wailed, his face red from anger and the veins in his neck popped out. “I’m not a baby, Jaehyun. You think I can’t take care of the baby?”

“Don’t twist my words, Taeyong,” Jaehyun hissed, his voice cold and his face hardened. He’d never called his husband by his name unless he’s mad. “I’ve never said that you weren’t capable to take care of yourself. I’m worried about you and our baby.”

“Well, you don’t have too,” Taeyong spat and the tension in the room intensified. None of them made a move from where they were standing across each other. “Like I said, I can take care of myself and our baby just fine.”

“Fine. Do whatever you want.”

It was their first fight after they reconciled. They argued from time to time but never to this extent. Jaehyun didn’t come back to their room that night. A few hours after their confrontation, Taeyong slowly realized how stupid it was. They could've sat down and talked about their problem out like an adult should be. Instead, they fought like kids and ended up hurting each other.

Taeyong tossed and tossed on the bed. Sleep won’t take him no matter how hard he tried. He'd grown a new habit after he got pregnant; he couldn’t sleep without Jaehyun. He had to feel him close to be able to sleep. Having his husband next to him would calm him and the baby down. Now that Jaehyun wasn’t here, Taeyong stayed awake in bed, curling up into a ball. Part of him wanted to give in first but another one was stubborn.

It was three in the morning when Taeyong heard the door of the room swung open quietly. He heard the sound of feet approaching and then the bed dipped as Jaehyun climbed into it, pressing his broad chest against Taeyong’s back and wrapping his arms around his waist. Taeyong let out a sigh as Jaehyun slipped his hand under his shirt, pressing his palm over his stomach. His presence was enough to calm his nerves.

“I’m sorry,” Jaehyun whispered, his voice hoarse and sincere. “I shouldn’t leave like that.”

Taeyong put his hand over Jaehyun's, intertwining their fingers.

“I shouldn’t have yelled at you, too. I’m sorry.”

Taeyong turned around to face Jaehyun and snuggled closer. He buried his face in the crook on his neck and threw one leg over his body, locking him in. Jaehyun let out a small chuckle as his hand slid down to the small of Taeyong’s back, holding him there. Even after years, some things hadn’t changed. Jaehyun always be the first one to crumble and apologize to Taeyong—no matter who started the fight.

“I’m sorry if what I said sound like I underestimate you. I didn’t, you know that, right? I know you’re such a strong person but after Dr. Kim told us that your pregnancy is still fragile, I’m so afraid something bad would happen to you and our baby.”

“Oh, baby. I’m so sorry for making you worried,” Taeyong pressed his lips against Jaehyun’s throat. One of his hands slipped into his hair, playing with it gently. “How about we make an agreement? I’m going to work until I’m 8th months pregnant. We can think of some adjustment after our baby is born.”

“Seven,” Jaehyun bargained. “Until you’re 7th months pregnant. Please?”

Taeyong let out a sigh. “Fine, seven.”

“Okay,” Jaehyun breathed out deeply, dropping small kisses on the top of Taeyong’s head. “I love you.”

Taeyong pulled away slightly and kissed Jaehyun’s jaw, smiling. “I love you, too. Always.”

* * *

Three months into Taeyong’s pregnancy, he was wretchedly sick but doing a good job at hiding it. But it didn’t take long for Jaehyun to notice it because he paid very close attention to his husband. Taeyong had actually lost five pounds from morning sickness but he always told himself that it was normal. It was just a phase. Jaehyun didn’t buy the excuse—obviously—and they had another fight because of that. Taeyong misunderstood Jaehyun’s suggestion when the latter told him to take a short break from work until he felt better. They had a fight over breakfast and Taeyong stormed out of the house after accusing his husband of trying to sabotage his career. He felt awful for the entire ride to school. It didn’t help that he felt like throwing up all the time and his head throbbing painfully.

That day Taeyong ended up fainting in the middle of the. When he woke up, the first thing that he noticed was the white ceiling. He blinked and sniffed the air and it didn’t take long for him to realize that he was in the hospital. He looked down at his hospital gown and sighed. He knew that he’d reached his limit and it was his fault that he was here.

The next thing Taeyong noticed was Jaehyun’s presence next to him. His husband was sleeping while holding his hand. The dark bags under his eyes were evident and he looked exhausted. Taeyong could feel the way his heart ached painfully at the sight of him. The past few weeks hadn’t been easy for him and he felt bad for failing to see that it was the same way for Jaehyun. When he woke up in the middle of the night to puke his guts out, Jaehyun would wake up too to take care of him. The latter wouldn’t go back to sleep before making sure that Taeyong was asleep.

“Angel, why are you crying?”

Taeyong was pulled out of his reverie when suddenly Jaehyun was on his side, looking alarmed as he held his face in his hands.

“I’m sorry,” Taeyong choked out, tears rolling down his cheeks. “It’s my fault. I’m sorry I can’t take care of the baby.”

Jaehyun quickly climbed onto the bed and pulled Taeyong into his arms. He held his husband tightly as the latter cried in his chest.

“Angel, it’s not your fault that you’re here, okay?” Jaehyun cradled the back of Taeyong’s head, dropping small kisses on top of his head. “It’s normal for pregnant people to experience extreme morning sickness. It has nothing to do with your capability. You’re doing a very good job taking care of our baby.”

Taeyong sniffled, snuggling closer to Jaehyun.

“I’m sorry for being such an emotional mess. I even accused you this morning.”

“Let’s not talk about that, okay?” Jaehyun said. “What matters the most is you and the baby are okay. God, don’t scare me like that again, love. I almost lost my mind when Doyoung called me.”

Taeyong tightened his hold around Jaehyun's waist, more tears overflowing his eyes.

“I’m sorry.”

“Ssh, my love,” Jaehyun reassured him. “Stop apologizing. I’m glad you and Mark are okay.”

There was a pause after that. Taeyong slightly pulled away from Jaehyun's chest, looking up with a confused look in his face.

“Mark?”

Jaehyun smiled sheepishly at him. “Soojung Nuna asked me about the baby’s name last week. I know we haven’t talked about it but I was overexcited when she mentioned it so I started looking up for baby’s names. But of course we'll have to discuss it together.”

“Hmm,” Taeyong hummed, smiling. “What else do you have?”

“Woohyun?”

“No.”

“Seungho?”

Taeyong shook his head. “Nope.”

“All right. What about Mason?”

“That sounds good,” Taeyong pondered over it. “But your favorite is Mark?”

“Yes,” Jaehyun admitted. “I don’t know why but I keep thinking about that name.”

“Mark,” Taeyong repeated, testing the name while imagining a boy who resembled him and Jaehyun. His heart instantly fluttered in happiness. “Mark Jung doesn’t sound so bad, isn’t it?”

“It sounds perfect.”

Jaehyun and Taeyong shared a smile, feeling the warmth spread through them just by thinking about their baby. Jaehyun settled his palm over Taeyong's stomach and caressed it gently.

“Sometimes I can’t believe that he’s real. He's here with us.”

Taeyong smiled as he put his hand over Jaehyun's.

“Ours.”

“Ours.”

And the story ended with them moving forward to the next chapter of their lives. 

* * *

**Author's Note:**

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